I'm just a little bit um not in good shape
I'm just a little bit um not in good shape

Soon a callous and a blister will be on my toeses
They're not used to pounding on these asphalt winding roadses
If that wasn't bad enough I'm only used to slowness
Someone kill me practice is just crazy with these coaches

My breath is short and I am about to faint!
My breath is short and I am about to faint!

Because I was a lazy bum
The entire year round
I never left the couch to run
And gained quite a few pounds
But when I came back to my school
To train for cross country
Then everyone finished the run
Well everyone but me

Seems they all are faster than me even all the ladies
If I don't amend that fact quite soon I will go crazy
I'd believe it if you said I died and went to Hades
Ooh I'm so embarrassed someone up above must hate me

It's so humiliating I'm gonna cry!
It's so humiliating I'm gonna cry!

I kept up for a few miles
And then ran out of steam
I kept their pace just yesterday
Night but that was a dream
When snails and little turtles
Passed me as I strained to walk
I knew my coaches and myself
Would have a little talk

They'll...
Say that "college athletes have to meet our expectations
And we must be proud of all your times when you are racin'
If you think you're good enough, you're horribly mistaken
Since all college athletes have to meet our expectations"

I've got an aching body and I know why
I've got an aching body and I know why

They said I have a lot of stuff
That I need to improve
Like doing more push-ups
And being faster when I move
But I must not forget that the
Whole point of school is class
If all my effort goes to track
I surely will not pass