If I am driving too slow, please El Passo,
That's what the left lane on highways are for
Pedal your metal and burn up your gas, oh
I'll do the speed limit, saving much more..

One thing that brings on rages and edgies
Is someone following close on my tail
Fools in a hurry with no destination,
They'll quickly get there, that old county jail..

One night a wild cowgirl, I see
Coming fast in my rearview..
Speeding, grill glaring, down on me, she's bearing
A Cadillac Escalade wasting no time

So..I..slow..down,
And challenge her right to be crowding my drive space
Tapping my brake lights each second or two
I watch her back there, she's wedging and weaving
Real angry, frustrated, with face turning blue..

Has her fist pounding quite hard on the dashboard
Road is a two lane, now, with yellow lines
I'm doing thirty-five, it's the speed limit,
She doesn't back-off, not worried 'bout fines..

Sight yellow blinkers, a school zone's ahead
So, I slow down, fifteen more..
She makes wide places,
And past me, she races,
Paying no heed to what school zones are for..

As I maintain my pace,
She flips me with a big bird and speeds off,
Here in a small town of New Mexico..

Since her El Passo, my ride is less stressful
Continue on, satisfied in my soul
Glad, out of sight is this hurried young maiden
Or as I should say, the crazy asshole..

I exit into first station I see
Slowly pull up to the pump
Choosing self service, fill up with ten gallons,
It's paid with my credit card, back in I jump

Once again, here I am
On a hill, at the town's city limits
Viewing hot desert, and valleys below..
My Escort purrs as it transports me onward
Over the hill, down the long road I go..

Off to the right I see sagebrush and cactus
Off to the left is the vast desert floor..
Singing and crooning, I'm radio, tuning
And now enjoying my trip, so much more

Something seems dreadfully wrong up ahead;
A flashing blue light I have spied..
Slow my speed down, and ease up on the pedal
Where there's emergency, cautious I'll ride

As I get closer, I'm learning the problem,
State ranger's detaining a car up ahead
Soon, I can tell it's that SUV, Caddy..
With the bird giver, fast lady of dread

I scan her closer now, she's hot as fire,
Short mini skirted, low cleavage bazoom..
So, I pull over and pay her citation..
We spend all night in the next motel room

We spend all night..in the next..motel..room