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Song Parodies -> "Hymens Are A Girl's Best Friend"

Original Song Title:

"Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Marilyn Monroe

Parody Song Title:

"Hymens Are A Girl's Best Friend"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

all men are bred to try for love
they think only with their tools
but i prefer a man who opts
to stow his family jewels

a beast in your pants can be...so detrimental
cause hymens are a girl's best friend
i've been offered a grand, but just call me sentimental
he's turned down flat
i will not be his acrobat

men grow cold if girls ain't bold
many give up their charms in the end
but my bod's in great shape
not torn up by big apes
hymens are a girl's best friend

there may come a time when a...lass thinks it over
but hymens are a girl's best friend
there may come a time she will...roll in the clover
think it might be nice ?
you best think twice
tell him no dice

watch the guy...who gets you high
he has hopes that your values descend
and most of these louses...already have spouses
hymens are a girl's best friend

i've not had affairs, i have...kept things platonic
cause hymens are a girls best friend
i'm not into sex cause i...find it moronic
don't heavy pet
cause if you pet
you might get wet

just stroll on..cause once its gone
there is no way for surgeons to mend
just clamp tight with your knees
and don't give it up please
hymens...hymens
i don't mean diaphragms
but hymens
are a girl's best friend

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Prince Hamlet thinketh thou doth speak of country matters. 5's
alvin rhodes - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks for the vote, johnny
Paul Robinson - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin - clever as ever here. 5-5-5, would never have thought of using an MM song to parody.
Rice Cube - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
HOW??? HOW??? HOW did you get this on the site? :-D
Madonna - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, but I still have the box it came in.
alvin rhodes - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
thanks, folks
Academy Award-Winning Actor Sean Penn - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
You mean the box I came in.
Captain Jack Sparrow - March 16, 2004 - Report this comment
I knew I would find you here,Mister Penn and I believe you have something....that belongs to me,you remember it -about a foot high,cast in gold,most call it "Oscar",I call it-rightfully mine! Savvy?
Russell Crowe - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm sorry, but I'm just an unfrozen caveman. Your modern ways and magic tools frighten and confuse me.
Meriadoc - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Alvin, you never cease to amaze me! Bravo!
Phil Alexander - March 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Must admit I was dubious about what I was going to see when I saw the title, but this is superb. Witty and brilliant. Nice one, Alvin.
alvin rhodes - March 19, 2004 - Report this comment
thank you, merry and phil, for the kind words....
Lanika - July 11, 2004 - Report this comment
hmmm,very interesting,well, what do you know about a hymen?
Johnny D - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
restoring my previous 555 vote.
K1chyd - August 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, surgeons CAN mend them and they do it all the time, at least here, itīs specially in demand by girls originating from middle east cultures where they still expect a woman to bleed on her wedding night or the family honour (ha-ha) will be "destroyed".

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