I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree

I just want to end this song
It has played for far too long
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Something new

I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
It's a song that doesn't suck
Or make my effing ears bleed

I just want to let you know
That this song really blows
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas
Is new

[Song shift very it's included]

Every Christmas
You hear this song
And the very next day it's gone away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll plug my ears from this Hell

Every Christmas
The same old stuff
Well, I say "Nay!" to that guy who's gay
This year
I'll cover my ears
It's so unprofessional

Oh I don't want a lot for Christmas (Every Christmas)
This is all I'm asking for (You hear their song)
I just want to hear a song (And the radio DJ)
That I shall not abhor (Plays it every day)

Oh I just want a refreshment (Every year)
Or I'll hide in my basement (I'm covered in tears)
This song is just "Eew!"
Baby all I want for Christmas is
New, baby (It's so disgraceful)

Any day or another, these songs shall start
Oh God, oh brother! Tearing me apart! Ooh-hoo
Who knows, maybe Mr. Scrooge was right

All I want for Christmas is new, baby (Last Christmas)
All I want for Christmas is new, baby (This Christmas)
All I want for Christmas is new, baby (Every Christmas)