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Song Parodies -> "Bag Fees"
Original Song Title:
"Home Free"
Original Performer:
Lydia Styles
Parody Song Title:
"Bag Fees"
Parody Written by:
Robert D. Arndt Jr.
The Lyrics
The story of Terri Weissinger, age 55, a California business woman of 25 years that got trapped at SF Int. Airport for 8 days due to hidden baggage fees not disclosed when she booked her flight months in advance through Orbitz. Her bags would cost her another $60 which she didn't have and so she missed her flight. That required another $150 transfer fee, so she needed $210. She had $30 on her and got trapped in the terminal. She saw a medic for stress but was threatened by SFIA to be arrested for vagrancy if she did not either board a plane or leave. She slept in stairwells and ate Trailmix to survive until a local church raised the funds for her and got her to Idaho. She compares her ordeal to the Tom Hanks movie "Terminal". All because she booked her flight before a Federal Law went into effect about added fees disclosure up front. Airlines count on passengers not reading the small print in bookings so at the airport get stuck with a bunch of added fees for anything they want to charge for as "extra". Terri was just the latest victim that went public...
Trapped in SFIA
Eight days in despair
Wouldn’t take her luggage
No flying in the air
Business woman not spared
Terri Weissinger
US Airways was unfair
Denied her being a passenger
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
They charged her $60 more
For her bags as fees
Then $150 more for a transfer
Missed her flight, was displeased
She had to live in the terminal
Had $30 to her name
Lived off of trail mix and slept in stairwell
US Airways- for shame!
Finally, she reached a church
They paid her $210 fees
She caught a flight to Idaho
But with the airline was angry
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
She had to see a medic
Was threatened with vagrancy
SFIA was no help
They lacked common decency
So Terri and others take heed
Read the small print
Airlines make millions off added fees
Always pushing the limits
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
Such an ordeal
Didn’t shower in 8 days
Paid for her flight in advance
Next time, Terri, take a train!!!
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
Eight days in despair
Wouldn’t take her luggage
No flying in the air
Business woman not spared
Terri Weissinger
US Airways was unfair
Denied her being a passenger
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
They charged her $60 more
For her bags as fees
Then $150 more for a transfer
Missed her flight, was displeased
She had to live in the terminal
Had $30 to her name
Lived off of trail mix and slept in stairwell
US Airways- for shame!
Finally, she reached a church
They paid her $210 fees
She caught a flight to Idaho
But with the airline was angry
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
She had to see a medic
Was threatened with vagrancy
SFIA was no help
They lacked common decency
So Terri and others take heed
Read the small print
Airlines make millions off added fees
Always pushing the limits
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
Such an ordeal
Didn’t shower in 8 days
Paid for her flight in advance
Next time, Terri, take a train!!!
Bag fees, Bag fees
Gotta read the small print
Booked her flight on Orbitz
Before new law went into effect
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/11/04/article-2057510-0EA9AFC200000578-328_468x286.jpg http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/11/04/article-2057510-0EA9B0FC00000578-988_468x286.jpg http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/11/04/article-2057510-0EA9B11200000578-505_468x286.jpg
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You would think that a modern business woman of a quarter-century experience who traveled regularly would have: a) brought more money to the airport or had a credit card handy and b) would have known about such expenses. Furthermore, why didn't she call someone she knew to pick her up instead of living in the terminal for eight days? Her story sounds more like incompetence on her part than anything United did to her. This person has no problem-solving ability at all and should NOT be allowed to work for any size company. Notice that she wasn't even dressed professionally to go to that new business in Idaho. She could have just come from an OWS type protest!!!
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