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Song Parodies -> "Francis"

Original Song Title:

"Judas"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"Francis"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Last time I predicted the Pope was 2 years before Ratzinger was chosen, much to the shock of everyone I knew who predicted a Latin Pope. This time I made no specific choice but had warned that if a Latin Pope was not selected that they would be outraged, especially if an Italian was chosen. Well, they got both with Pope Franics from Argentina but of Italian ancestry! He is 76 and does not like to travel. He is also conservative along the lines of his two predecessors so good luck with all the tough issues of priestly celebacy, same-sex marriages, and female ordination! Then there's the international sex scandals in the US and Germany, among other places worldwide and the deep corruption of the Vatican internal administration- the Curia which really sets the rules and runs things. It has LONG been rumored that the spirit of Antichrist is already in the Catholic Church and performs evil at its core. Tyranna Group (Tyrant Group) is beyond the Swiss Guards and someday will align itself with its master- the Beast foretold in Revelation. Last time in WW2 with Hitler, the Pope claimed to help Jews within Vatican City but the Church helped the Nazi forces in Italy, escpecially at Cassino with the German paras and did nothing to stop Italian Catholics from turning in Jews to the SS for liquidation. The coming German forces will not honor Vatican City the next time and will burn it to the ground as the German Antichrist will NOT accept any rivals to his authority on Earth. I know Catholics here will be offended and I expect to get bombed so no comments authorized. But history is on my side, I have never been wrong about any of my prophesies about Germany since 1977. Italy is one of the 5 strong Euro nations of the 10 Kings and will bow to the German Antichrist who will lead them to war once again. Antichrist preaches worship of himself as God (666= man as God by 6th day. In triplicate as fasle trinity under alpha-numeric DCLXVI title or name). No Pope can be the Antichrist b/c the Beast comes from politics (the EU Parliament), becomes a warlord and supreme military leader in Jerusalem after its fall to his Euro Forces, and makes war against the world a third time for 3.5 years demanding worship and controlling world commerce/oil. The time is growing short now.
Smo-o-o-oke (white)
[“Habemus papam”]
“We have a pope,” Francis

Smo-o-o-oke (white)
[“Habemus papam”]
“We have a pope,” Francis

Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
VICAR (OF GOD)!!!

When it came to voting, they agreed
Italian from Argentina fills need
Conservative. Yet retains the Latin gain
From Buenos Aires, to Holy See

Papal renown, is fame bound, (white) gown
Crossed keys with pointy crown, keys with pointy crown

[Chorus]
He’s just a Holy Tool, the Curia still rules
Try reforming the Church, Francis, Bless Thee
He’s just a Holy Tool, the Curia still rules
Try reforming the Church, Francis, Bless Thee

Smo-o-o-oke (white)
[“Habemus papam”]
“We have a pope,” Francis

Smo-o-o-oke (white)
[“Habemus papam”]
“We have a pope,” Francis

Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
VICAR (OF GOD)!!!

They couldn’t have picked him so wisely
Self-effacing manner- best candidate
Amazing he made it to the “short list”
Latin America this time, no debate

Papal renown, is fame bound, (white) gown
Crossed keys with pointy crown, keys with pointy crown

He’s just a Holy Tool, the Curia still rules
Try reforming the Church, Francis, Bless Thee
He’s just a Holy Tool, the Curia still rules
Try reforming the Church, Francis, Bless Thee

Smo-o-o-oke (white)
[“Habemus papam”]
“We have a pope,” Francis

Smo-o-o-oke (white)
[“Habemus papam”]
“We have a pope,” Francis

Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
VICAR (OF GOD)!!!

[Bridge]
To the Vatican- makes sense,
Receives total acceptance
Cares for poor, prays for the best, follows Divine
But in the secretive sense
Knows not the corruption depth
Spirit of Antichrist contempt,
Tyranna Group still bides it time

Swiss Guards protect you,
But evil still dwells far away from view
Holy See lacks virtue,
Darkness is the destroyer they cling to
And bow to

He’s just a Holy Tool, the Curia still rules
Try reforming the Church, Francis, Bless Thee
He’s just a Holy Tool, the Curia still rules
Try reforming the Church, Francis, Bless Thee

Smo-o-o-oke (white)
[“Habemus papam”]
“We have a pope,” Francis

Smo-o-o-oke (white)
[“Habemus papam”]
“We have a pope,” Francis

Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
Pontiff
Francis!
VICAR (OF GOD)!!!

HE WON’T LAST LONG…
Please note that the Vatican does not recognize the Word of God as the final authority on anything but relies on the Holy See. They do not believe in our Lord's eternal security of the Believer and instead substitute merit and works which are invalid. Only by the blood of Jesus and the Cross may one attain eternal life, to be born-again of the spirit of God. Roman Catholicism is a blending of the old Roman pagan beliefs and Christianity embraced by the Caesars from period to period. They make Mary co-redemptive to Christ and pray to her which is Goddess worship. They bow to graven images against the Word of God. Neither the Pope nor any priest has the power to forgive a single sin and chanting Hail Marys and Our Fathers is witchcraft. Celibacy for priests and nuns is also nowhere in the Word. Paul was speaking by _permission_ and not command that HE wished all would be celibate to serve the Lord, which was never God's plan since Eden. And purgatory has no Biblical basis at all but a made-up way to collect taxes of the families of the wicked dead to somehow pray someone out of hell. It is appointed for a man to die ONCE then judgement, so no such thing. No scriptural basis. Catholics follow traditions of men and not the will of God. They will be easy prey for the Beast to destroy.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Susanna Viljanen - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Oi vey. Did my Hakkapeliitta ancestors on my father's side of the family fight and die in vain?

I cannot give you 666, so 555 will do.
Wendy Christopher - March 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Pope sure is getting a pasting today on the Amiright site! Ah well - those Vatican types are rich enough to suck it up, I reckon... for this Gaga-flavoured piece of genius, I can award nothing less than a 555 :^)
Rob Arndt - March 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks all :)

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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