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Song Parodies -> "JFK"
Original Song Title:
"MTA"
Original Performer:
Kingston Trio
Parody Song Title:
"JFK"
Parody Written by:
MadTom
The Lyrics
In the interest of full disclosure and giving credit where credit is due, years ago I heard a a friend (who was both a fellow educational specialist and fellow Army reserve components officer) sing the first verse, apparently having heard it from his students. Throughout the years since, I've never been able to find any further lyrics to this parody and decided to complete it myself. I realize that the original song as sung by the Kingston Trio had five verses and this version has six. I hope the purists among you can overlook that fact.
(Spoken)
These are the times that fry men’s brains. For nearly half a century, a belief has been perpetuated that the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was the result of a huge conspiracy by the FBI, the CIA, the KGB, Fidel Castro, Cuban exiles, the Ku Klux Klan, the Mafia, Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard M. Nixon. At the same time, this conspiracy has managed to elevate the actual perpetrator to a victim, a patsy and a folk hero. Citizens, hear me out: GET A GRIP!!!
(Sung)
Let me tell you all the story of a man named Oswald
On a tragic and fateful day.
He put bullets in his rifle and he went down to Dallas
Just to kill... JFK!
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (He owned a rifle.)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Oswald hitched a ride to work with his landlady’s neighbor,
Brought a long package 'neath his arm.
"Oh, it’s just curtain rods," he said when the neighbor asked him,
"No, there's no reason for alarm."
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (What was that package?)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Oswald stayed behind alone in the sixth floor of the warehouse
While the others watched the motorcade.
And forever folks will argue 'bout the number of shots
And the direction that the brains got sprayed.
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (The bullets matched up.)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Oswald slipped away from work and they found him in a theater
And they threw him in the Dallas Jail.
Then they found his pictures with a rifle and revolver
That he'd ordered through the US Mail.
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (Why was he running?)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Now all night long, Oswald cried: "It's a setup!
I'm a patsy! It's all a frame!"
But for all his protestations, he got what he wished: Lee
Harvey Oswald was a famous name!
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (The whole world watched him!)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Oswald smirked before the crowd like some kind of hero
'Til a shot rang out and ripped his guts.
And as he died, he learned he was not so unique:
The world is full of homicidal nuts!
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (What a country!)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
These are the times that fry men’s brains. For nearly half a century, a belief has been perpetuated that the assassination of President John F. Kennedy was the result of a huge conspiracy by the FBI, the CIA, the KGB, Fidel Castro, Cuban exiles, the Ku Klux Klan, the Mafia, Lyndon B. Johnson and Richard M. Nixon. At the same time, this conspiracy has managed to elevate the actual perpetrator to a victim, a patsy and a folk hero. Citizens, hear me out: GET A GRIP!!!
(Sung)
Let me tell you all the story of a man named Oswald
On a tragic and fateful day.
He put bullets in his rifle and he went down to Dallas
Just to kill... JFK!
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (He owned a rifle.)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Oswald hitched a ride to work with his landlady’s neighbor,
Brought a long package 'neath his arm.
"Oh, it’s just curtain rods," he said when the neighbor asked him,
"No, there's no reason for alarm."
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (What was that package?)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Oswald stayed behind alone in the sixth floor of the warehouse
While the others watched the motorcade.
And forever folks will argue 'bout the number of shots
And the direction that the brains got sprayed.
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (The bullets matched up.)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Oswald slipped away from work and they found him in a theater
And they threw him in the Dallas Jail.
Then they found his pictures with a rifle and revolver
That he'd ordered through the US Mail.
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (Why was he running?)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Now all night long, Oswald cried: "It's a setup!
I'm a patsy! It's all a frame!"
But for all his protestations, he got what he wished: Lee
Harvey Oswald was a famous name!
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (The whole world watched him!)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
Oswald smirked before the crowd like some kind of hero
'Til a shot rang out and ripped his guts.
And as he died, he learned he was not so unique:
The world is full of homicidal nuts!
But was he acting alone?
Oh, he acted alone,
As the facts have always shown. (What a country!)
Folks will claim forever he was just a patsy,
He’s the man who acted alone.
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User Comments
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This is my favorite Kingston Trio original (even more than Tom Dooley). Interestingly enough, Gerald Ford was on the Warren Commission (I have a copy of it in hardback). ;D
A piece of history that folks are still arguing over. One determined man with a $12 rifle who kept his plans to himself killed the President. Has the CIA, FBI, and the whole of the federal government cabal ever achieved any stated goal? I was sad to watch James Earl Ray convince Dr King's family that he was not the shooter who killed their father. Do I believe Lyndon Johnson and J Edgar Hoover were evil enough to want King dead? Yes, I do. Do I think they were capable of pulling something like that off and getting away with it. Hell, no. I've shot Mannlicher Carcano rifles. They have much less recoil that comparable military rifles of the time. Penetration is very high due to the small diameter bullet. Oswald only had to work the bolt twice to achieve three shots. The first round was already loaded. He didn't eject the third round. Bolt is a bit clumsy, not as slick as a Lee-Enfield, but nowhere near the kick. On the other hand, if you look at the Zapruder film, you can see Kennedy with his arms up and his hands around his throat. He choked himself to death. Verdict: suicide.
Great song and reenactment of the JFK assassination. Very entertaining, yet tragic. 555.
Another person who doesn't understand the basic laws of physics. The seating arrangement of the car and the time it took for Connally to feel the pain in his wrist explain "the magic bullet," but nobody has ever been able to explain away "back and to the left." Nevertheless, we do know Oswald killed a cop, and tried to kill an Army General, and was no great loss. But he didn't do it alone, if at all, and it doesn't take much clear thinking to figure that out.
How right you are Lord Pacholek, courtesy of the late SantoTraficante ! !
GaryFaulkner is now in a prison in PkIndia for being a another 'one-man attempt' to hunt down & eliminate binLadin . . . .
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