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Song Parodies -> "Ten Most Dangerous Toys"

Original Song Title:

"My Favourite Things"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"Ten Most Dangerous Toys"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Lawn Darts scored One on the dangerous toy board
They pierced most anything when whey were mis-scored
They made a nice sound when hit garage wall
Lawn Darts were most scary toy of them all!

Number Two dangerous toy on that dread list
was the home lab of young Nuclear Physicist
it was supplied with live U-238
Who would buy that for a kid under eight?

Lead Paint! Sharp points!
Loose parts and such -
Just think of these ten most dangerous toys
Don't fear too much!

Third toy was innocent Ez-Sales mini hammock
While it would resemble a cradle with slow rock
It had no spreaders, could strangle a boy -
that was the third of most dangerous toy

Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls with jaws really chewing
Had no switch where turn off that mouth moving
It could bite off finger of a girl - Oi!
That was the fourth of most dangerous toy

Lead Paint! Sharp points!
Loose parts and such -
Just think of these ten most dangerous toys
Don't fear too much!

Fiver was Femme Fatale - Galoob Sky Dancer
A flying ballerina, true girls' prayers' answer
When launched its arms went helicopter wing -
Oh Jesus! It's chasing me! Dangerous thing!

Bat Masterson Belt Gun, sixth toy from Hell -y
Would fire a shot if you bumped with your belly
But when combined testosterone and a boy -
that made it one of most dangerous toy

Lead Paint! Sharp points!
Loose parts and such -
Just think of these ten most dangerous toys
Don't fear too much!

Mattel scored seven with their Creepy Creatures
Which cast the rubber bugs to give ma seizure
Casting with oven is not for young boy -
Third degree burns make a dangerous toy!

Whistling the Dixie with Johnny Reb Cannon
Just pull the lanyard, hard plastic ball shoots on -
Cool anti-tank gun to hit neighbour's car
Not speaking of windows and cats - eight so far!

Lead Paint! Sharp points!
Loose parts and such -
Just think of these ten most dangerous toys
Don't fear too much!

Movies - the Battlestar Galactica shooter
fires a missile, so give em ca-hoota!
Loose plastic ammo could choke death a boy
Number nine of the most dangerous toys!

Fisher-Price motorbike, chromium siding
Gave many children a quite queasy riding
Throttles got stuck, it would kill all the joy
Broken arms qualify dangerous toy!

Lead Paint! Sharp points!
Loose parts and such -
Just think of these ten most dangerous toys
Don't fear too much!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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Ann Hammond - December 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Don't let the Sky Dancers get me
Meriadoc - December 16, 2006 - Report this comment
Those @#*&^^! safety people! I have to bake my Creepy Crawlers in the toaster oven now... When I was a kid we played with lots of 'dangerous' toys. We were just a lot smarter than these coddled kids today.... :-P
Susanna Viljanen - December 17, 2006 - Report this comment
I played with Lawn Darts. Guess why I know what kind of sound they make when hit garage wall?
TJC - December 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice... love the concept... and remember that other so called dangerous toy... Bag o' Shards!
peanut butter person - December 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Ha! Fisher-Price motor bikes are scary! My brother and I used to bang into trees all the time with that crappy thing!
Yoidy - December 17, 2006 - Report this comment
I loved SSTs as a kid. You pull the T thing and the car drove a few yards. Anyone else remember that? Fine piece! 555
Tim Hall - December 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Very well done!
Susanna Viljanen - December 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Me and my siblings had a chemistry set when I was a kid. (It is my dad to blame if I grew up as a nerd.) The chemistry set was indeed a very innocent toy if you followed the instructions, but if you mixed the substances in random and heated it on Bunsen burner - well, most anything could happen. I just wonder how many burnt eyebrows and test tubes turned into fragmentation bombs must have been caused by misusing a kids' chemistry set?

Lawn Darts, or Jarts, were banned in US 1998, but they are perfectly legal in EU. I just wonder what kind of damage a croquette game can cause if played with rules of golf and with ice hockey sticks...?
Darrell Wilhelm - December 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Here is a dangerous toy that actually existed: 1. Tacara Mechanical A-Bomb (made in Japan during the 1960s, Tacara was absorbed by Hasbro in the early 1980s during the Transformer fad and the name (same as that of one of my ex-girlfriends) was relegated to the history books, toy got hot and sprayed real sparks, few, if any in USA
Grimley Fieendish - December 27, 2006 - Report this comment
A nice parody, indeed..... "But Where Can I Buy These Fine Products....?." The Joker- Batman
Gel - November 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Another toy, Aqua dots just got recalled today.It has a date rape drug in it that can cause death.5 kids have been in the hospital so far in the US and Austrailia. I was going to get it for my 7 year old cousin,until my parents found out it was recalled.

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