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Song Parodies -> "Confidential: The Secrets Of Amiright"

Original Song Title:

"A Few Of My Favourite Things"

Original Performer:

Julie Andrews

Parody Song Title:

"Confidential: The Secrets Of Amiright"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

This may be the last parody I ever submit, once the lynch mob finds me! NB...It's all in good fun, don't sue me!!!!!
No one will read this; I'll say what I wanna
Brag that I once had a fling with Madonna
Say that I'm so rich, I've just bought Japan
This song I'm writing coz (dammit) I can!

Cher had an affair with Bobby Mc Ferrin
Do you dispute this? I'm really past carin'
I am just making it up as I go
Pacing's imperfect? My reply is "So?"

Maybe I'll make some remarks about POTUS*
Call him a joke and hope no one will notice
I know this parody's gonna get panned
Why did I bother? Coz (dammit) I can!

Wait a minute...
I've an idea...
Maybe not too bright
I think it's the right time for me to reveal...
THE SECRETS OF AMIRIGHT!!!

Merry and Pippin got married in Reno
Stuart McArthur is too fond of vino
Rick Duncan's really a Klingon, disguised
Slander's a game, so do I get a prize?

And while I'm at it, I might want to mention
Johnny D's tired of whorin' and wenchin'
Arwen and Ashkicksass want to be nuns
Philbo's a Mormon...say, isn't this fun?

John Barry's building an S&M dungeon
Airfarcewon's bankrupt; his shares started plungin'
Alvin likes watching reruns of "Love Boat"
I'm saying nuthin' 'bout Spaff and the goat...

Lawsuits pending...
Angry readers...
Jeez, I'm up the creek
I'll simply leave town, maybe book me a flight
What's "I'm on the run" in Greek?

I know this parody's getting extended
There are still folks that I haven't offended
K1's a roadie for Paula Abdul
Also a naturist...isn't that cool?

Jeff Reuben sells Avon for extra moolah
Mike Pacholek was a stripper called Beulah
Young Luke Brattoni is fond of crochet
And once he streaked down the Champs Elysee!

Claude Prez at home dresses up like P. Diddy
Paul Robinson collects Cabbage Patch Kiddies
Stray Pooch's legs are waxed eight times a year
Look at the time....maybe I'll stop right here!

All of those I've
Not insulted
Please don't feel left out
I'm sure there are secrets you're trying to hide
That I will find out about!!!


* POTUS= President Of The United States

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 31

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 2
 2
 
 5   29
 28
 28
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Ashkicksass - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Mere words will never ever ever express how much I love this, or how brilliant it is, my son. Hail Mary!
John Jenkins - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I think one of your allegations is correct, but I'm not saying which one.
Know 1 can hear you dream - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Straight up now tell me, where did you get the idea that I was a roadie for Paula Abdul? You coldhearted snake! ;-)
Though I can tell that this was no rush, rush job.
alvin rhodes - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
i ran barefoot through your little stream of consciousness...and laughed my ass off....and though i don't watch love boat reruns, i will admit to watching real world, which is just as bad if not worse..5s
Arwen - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I'll join the ranks of your worshipers...(although I thought I did that ages ago)...5s, you clever bastard...
Mike - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
So funny, I almost laughed my head off, but, anyways, how d'you find out yhat I was a stripper, I thought only my manager knew about this.....ARGH!!... you idiot (I mean the manager ) how could you....wellllllllllll....FUNEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Claude Prez - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Everybody vote fives or die.
AFW - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Flattered to be mentioned in such a distinguished parody....This is a topnotch funny write, Kristof....and also, a very clever comment hook.. ....actually, it's so good...you'd be swarmed, even if no names had been mentioned..definitely 5's
Michael Pacholek - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't know who the "Mike" above is, but I know there are two Ns in "Funnyyyyyyyy..." Now, for the real me to comment... "Beulah"? "Beulah"?!? Now wait just a damn minute! It's one thing to say I was a stripper, but to stick me with the name of a redneck woman? As a proud Blue State Guy, I resent that! And "Merry and Pippin got married in Reno"? Are you sure it wasn't Boston or San Francisco? And if Arwen wants to be a nun, then she's got some 'splaining to do... as have I! Alvin: Why not combine "Love Boat" and "Real World" and get "Surreal Life"? You'll still have Charo!
Arwen - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't worry, Michael, the nun thing is just a gag I use sometimes to attract those "I only want what I can't have" guys. ; )
Spaff's Goat - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
There is absolutely no truth to these allegations.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
*glances at croquet set and 'I streaked through Berlin and all I got was this lousy shirt' shirt*

...meh, close enough! 555
Stray Pooch - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Geez, ya wear panty hose once in a while and all of a sudden you're a crossdresser. Hey, if you had these hairy pooch legs you'd wax too! Funny (and truly bizarre) stuff! Rhyming "POTUS' with notice - magnifico! 555
Stuart McArthur - December 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I laughed at everyone else but "too fond of vino"?!!!.... some people have a glass of beer and get tipsy, while others can start with a sherry, move through 2 bottles of champagne, with vodka supplements, and finish with a bottle of cognac - Who has the problem? (and that's French cognac - can't stand that Spanish stuff) - 555 Kristof, you star!
Kristof Robertson - December 31, 2004 - Report this comment
Didn't you all read the title? IT'S CONFIDENTIAL!! :-)...Seriously, glad you all could have a laugh. Ash- praise you, sweetie!.... John- they all are!....K1- I've seen your crew T shirt....Alvin- Goody! More gossip....Arwen- You should be worshipping the lord, sister :-)....Imposter Mike- Thanks anyway....Claude- calm down and take your medication (oh, that's for Part II)....AFW- I'll send you a cheque; you obviously need it....Mike- You sure got a purdy mouth! M&P had to get married in Reno, only city that has legalised inter-hobbit weddings. Don't let Sister Arwen try to fool ya, and who wants Charo??... Spaff's Goat- I've got the video footage :-)....Luke- Geez, I gotta get better spies!....Pooch- There is nothing to be ashamed of.....Stu- Glad to see you're a discerning drunk! Happy New Year to you all, and remember...KRISTOF IS WATCHING YOU! Hahahahaha
Johnny D - January 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Tired? HA! I'm just warmin' UP! 555
Scathe - January 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) An AmIRight tabloid in a parody, brilliant.
Rick D - January 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Dochvam vISop net pIH'a'?
Agrimorfee - January 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) That was just nutty.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still rip-snortingly good.
Spaff.com's High-Powered Legal Team - January 16, 2005 - Report this comment
On behalf of our client, we urge you to hand over the alleged "video footage" post haste. You would not want to have to take the stand and answer direct questions about a Batboy fathered with a Cher impersonator from Uranus, now, would you? Huh? Huh?! Furthermore, if we were not so litigious and humorless, we would probably call this both a top-notch tribute and a hilarious parody. But that is mere conjecture; the jury is not to consider it as evidence.
Johnny D - January 16, 2005 - Report this comment
We, who are about to fart, salute you!
Claude Prez - January 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Just in case you didn't know (since you're not American), my earlier comment was a reference to P. Diddy's idiotic "Vote or Die" campaign last year. Although I do think everyone should vote fives for this hilarious and original parody, I really think "Vote fives or be cursed with a VERY uncomfortable case of indigestion" is really more appropriate, and would cost a lot less for me to actually carry out. Anyway, great job.
Paul Robinson - January 24, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - Laughed my Cabbage Patch Ass off! 5's - however, I think you got me mixed up with some of the other writer's - but I'm not going to say which ones...
Jeff Reuben - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Well done...Ding Dong...I never looked so good!
Phil Alexander - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I could never think of a suitably witty comment for this one... still can't I'm afraid. I'm just glad you put the second "m" in ;-)
Chris Bodily TM - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS that well, but this was hilarious! 5-5-5! I really do regret not having this and "Kick Me Baby One More TIme" in my SOMT top three. Why don't more and more people do parodies like this, and where was I in this? LOL! Excellent job!
martha - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
fabulous parody and fabulous comments!! just too funny....
Peregrin - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
"Merry and Pippin got married in Reno"

Now there's a thought ! I thoroughly enjoyed this parody Kristof, to see how much, go to the voting thread!
Arwen - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--have I mentioned lately how brilliant I think you are, Mr. Robertson? Well...um...I think you're brilliant. DAMMIT! It somehow loses its zing if I preface it with an "I'm about to call you brilliant" hint...hmph.
Stuart McArthur - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) already commented - another thing I love about this is the way it plays out like a number from one of those musicals, with a hokey story line - brilliant
2nz - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Nice one, Kristof. Zing us 'right'ers one more time.
Tim Mayfield - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Brilliant.
Meriadoc - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Fantastic Kristof, and BTW, thank you for the lovely thought! :-D
Kat - March 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey, what about Susanna V.?
Tommy Turtle - March 06, 2006 - Report this comment
Thank goodness I wasn't here when this was written! Hope there's not a sequel!!! 555
Cat - August 17, 2006 - Report this comment
Actually, I'd be quite honored to be mentioned in a sequel. This boy in my English class did something quite similar to this last year in a poem, only he drew out rather gruesome (but hilariously ridiculous) deaths for the whole class...and he wasn't expelled, believe it or not! Because I'm a serial perfectionist, he had me committing suicide over a B. Pfffft.

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