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Song Parodies -> "We Are the Chemical Engineers"

Original Song Title:

"Battle Hymn of the Republic"

Original Performer:

Julia Ward Howe

Parody Song Title:

"We Are the Chemical Engineers"

Parody Written by:

Susanna Viljanen

The Lyrics

Years a-go I went a-studying in the HUT
my subject where I'd graduate would be the chemistry
From basics to the bio and to thermodynamics -
I'd learn the stuff that world is made and all its building bricks

We are, we are, we are the chemical engineers
we can, we can, we can drink up to fifty beers
From basics to the bio and to thermodynamics
we study stuff that world is made and all its building bricks

We do nitration, do titration, do the syntheses
we design the paints which give the world its colour and its bliss
We build up big blast furnaces, we set up column stills
we design filter systems which will clean up all the swills

We are, we are, we are the chemical engineers
we can, we can, we can drink up to fifty beers
We build up big blast furnaces, we set up column stills
we design all the systems which will clean up all the swills

We prepare the drugs and dynamite and brew the beer and wine
we synthesize the plastics and we bake the bread and brine
From alkaloids to zymurgy we master all the stuff
'cause periodic table as it is, is not enough!

We are, we are, we are the chemical engineers
we can, we can, we can drink up to fifty beers
From alkaloids to zymurgy we master all the stuff
'cause periodic table as it is, is not enough!

A physicist and chemist went a-drinking in the bar
The beer was warm and flat and they complained it loud and far -
"The temperature of beer ain't right", said physicist, and then -
the chemist said his fellow "I'll bring liquid nitrogen!"

We are, we are, we are the chemical engineers
we can, we can, we can drink up to fifty beers
"The temperature of beer ain't right", said physicist, and then -
the chemist said his fellow "I'll bring liquid nitrogen!"

The electric engineer said chemist: "Feel attraction - you
- seem to have magnetic pull and certain voltage too -
The chemist said "My love, it's Maxwell force and that's the case
you'll bring the acid in my place and I will bring the base!

We are, we are, we are the chemical engineers
we can, we can, we can drink up to fifty beers
The chemist said "My love, it's Maxwell force and that's the case
you'll bring the acid in my place and I will bring the base!

The chemist met computer nerd and went to see his cot
the chemist brought the moonshine and the egghead brought the pot
The blinkenlights were blinking as the chemist said - you see
we have the stuff and process, let's reset the memory!

We are, we are, we are the chemical engineers
we can, we can, we can drink up to fifty beers
The blinkenlights were blinking as the chemist said - you see
we have the stuff and and chips, so let's reset the memory!

The chemist and a civil and a machine engineer
decided to found a paper mill and plan of their was sheer
"Ill build", said civil engineer, "and you'll design the plant
and machine engineer will design paper machine grand!"

We are, we are, we are the chemical engineers
we can, we can, we can drink up to fifty beers
"Ill build", said civil engineer, "and you'll design the plant
and machine engineer will design paper machine grand!"

When our time is over and our earthly race is run
finished is the process and our ticking is undone
Our bodies, let them moulder but our souls have energy
it is called kinetic gas theory!

We are, we are, we are the chemical engineers
we can, we can, we can drink up to fifty beers
Our bodies, let them moulder but our souls have energy
it is called kinetic gas theory!

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.8
How Funny: 2.8
Overall Rating: 2.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   8
 8
 8
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   5
 6
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - February 05, 2015 - Report this comment
I'm trying to fit the tune with the lyrics. "Battle Hymn of the Republic" is my all time favorite song, since early childhood, when it edged out Mitch Miller's version of "The Yellow Rose of Texas". "Battle Hymn" was, in it's own way, a parody of "On Canaan's Happy Shore", which became "John Brown's Body". Julia Ward Howe composed her verses with "John Brown" in mind. The tune is flexible enough to accommodate both solemn and humorous performances while still being recognizable. I think this is what you have achieved here. I can't fit the lyrics to the solemn, hymn-like version as sung at President Reagan's funeral, but it seems to go OK with the "What A Hell of a Way to Die" songs beloved of skiers and parachutists. If more Americans realized that beer and dynamite are the products of chemistry, perhaps more students would be attracted to study the subject. "Battle Hymn" is a stirring song of God's vengeance on the unrighteous, and was written to inspire soldiers going into battle. The French version, as sung by Mireille Matthieu is an ode to peace. I once retranslated it back into English to show the difference. Look around on AIR, it may still be here. You have written a nice tribute to the engineers who make our lives better.
Susanna Viljanen - February 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Seems the Mister Number Ones Man is here again. D'ya have some problems with your neurotransmitters, huh?
Electrical Engineer - February 06, 2015 - Report this comment
I wouldn't impose specialist knowledge on a general audience. Yet, I applaud your enthusiasm, which is a far cry from your hating your job as boring and only a means to make money. Despite Patrick's essay, I couldn't follow the pacing. Rest assured, I gave your parody a thorough reading. No score.
John Lomain - February 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Fascinating stuff, this must've taken a long time to write. 5's
Patrick - February 06, 2015 - Report this comment
The Wikipedia article on "Battle Hymn of the Republic" states that the melody is used in Finland for a popular children's song and an army marching chant. Perhaps the melody is varied to fit the different rhythms of the Finnish language.
Dr Giorgio Coniglio dec. - February 06, 2015 - Report this comment
Agree with 'Electrical' although his remarks are circuitous. I admire your bravado in putting "thermodynamics" in a song, but those lines are very hard to sing. Also, would have hoped for ChemEngs to have better understanding of the swill/spill spectrum. Finishing with P's helpful note, will hike score to 444.
Rob Arndt - February 07, 2015 - Report this comment
This is a very long piece of work in which the author spent considerable time. 555!!! I might try one of these Chemical parodies using neurotransmitter interrupters: ethyl dimethylphosphoramidocyanidate, pinacolyl methylphosophonofluoridate, or methylethyl methylphosphonofluoridate.

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