It's as skinny as a pencil or an ink pen
It's as shriveled as a raisin or a fig
I'd say that I had a fiver,
But I know it's not that big..

I am barely hung and always discontented
Like a clock without a pendulum to swing
Gee, why must it be so tiny?
Oh, It Might As Well Be String!

I keep wishin' it was Milton Berle's
Maybe even Tommy Lee's
Then, I'd hear words that I have never heard,
Like, "That's sure a big one, Geez!"

I have tried all of those penis size enhancements
All the pills and potions, lotions, everything
It hasn't made a difference in poor willie
No improvements do they bring..
With this glass I play, in a magnifying way,
But It Might As Well Be String...
It...Mi--i--ght...As
We-ell.....Be
Strinnnggggg....