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Song Parodies -> "The Paradest Battle of The Mall"

Original Song Title:

"The Battle of New Orleans"

Original Performer:

Johnny Horton

Parody Song Title:

"The Paradest Battle of The Mall"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Whether we're Never Trumpers, Trumpettes, Trumpophiles, Trumpanzees or Trumpa Dumpas, maybe we can all agree that our President is officially a worldwide laughingstock. And a dangerous one at that.
In 2019 I had a great idea
A military show just like they do in North Korea
I called the Secret Service and I called up the Marines
And we had the highest ratings Fox and Friends has ever seen

I had bone spurs so I couldn't go to Vietnam
My papa said, "Donny, there's no way you're gonna go."
The Dems want war, well, they're about to get some
I'm caging every kid who crosses up from Mexico

I tweeted out the tweets and got the effing RNC
To give out a million tickets to our donor VIP's
They sat so close I could hear their iPhones ring
I read off the TelePrompTer, couldn't see a thing

The rain poured down like a urinatin' shower
Just like the Russian pussy that I had a while ago
My hotel's booked full o' rich and foreign powers
With Saudi killers, Exxon Mobil, Shell and Texaco

Well, the Roberts Court said that I had to change my tune,
"The racist census question, cut it out by Friday noon."
The DOJ said, we'll print it and omit,
But I thought about it for a second
Then I gave 'em shit!

We're puttin' up wall all across our southern border
But immigrant rapists keep on comin' with their ho's
They're smugglin' kids with no sense of law 'n' order
And drownin' in the Rio Grande north of Mexico

Yeah, the Army rammed air!
And rammed the airy ramparts!
It took over airports where the traffic couldn't go!
At Fort McConnell there were star spangled banners!
A fireworks stravagasm you could see from Mexico!

The G20 summit was a fabulous success
I had a steak and lobster and Ivanka bought a dress
She had a conversation that went viral in no time
That Frenchy what's-her-name, she lost her IMF-in' mind

With Aircraft One and the biggest arterilly
We blew out people's earbuds with a stealthy airshow
The rain poured worse and Melania squeezed my willy
I got a tan, a diet Coke and turned on HBO

They can cut through wires
They can cross-desert scramble
They'll apply for asylum but I'm gonna just say no
I'll rip off funds from our sacred military
To cage up every toddler who was born in Mexico

Mouth off, three-four
Mouth off, three-four
┬ęBob "This Ain't No Camp Granada" Gomez 2019

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.2
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alexander's ragtag band - July 08, 2019 - Report this comment
he represents more people than a pride demonstration does.
Rand - July 08, 2019 - Report this comment
Trump Derangement Syndrome at its most alarmingly repellent and sad.
Bob Gomez - July 08, 2019 - Report this comment
Hey, guys, thanks for the vote and comments. ARB, I think I saw you and your band at the Pride parade--what a cool name, "Tone Deaf and the Echo Locators." And Rand, I think I sat next to you in the VIP section at Trump's speech. We were the group that had to check our sense of humor at the guard post.
Rand - July 09, 2019 - Report this comment
I figured you'd left it somewhere.
Bob Gomez - July 10, 2019 - Report this comment
Zing! Yeah, but I got mine back. Yours is still at the guard post, apparently.

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