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Song Parodies -> "The Saddest of New York Teams"

Original Song Title:

"The Battle of New Orleans"

Original Performer:

Johnny Horton

Parody Song Title:

"The Saddest of New York Teams"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

This one took a bit more research than I've done in a while. I used an article called "8 years of losing" at, wikipedia, and several years of painful memories.
An eighth seed courted what seemed unthinkable
The year when union action meant a shorter schedule
They outlasted the Pacers then they ran into the Spurs
And they lost the series quickly and from there things got much worse

Goodbye Ernie Grunfeld and hello to Scott Layden
Between them Ed Tapscott picked a gigantic man from France
Whose Knicks uniform was sadly never played in
And thus began the decade when they rarely stood a chance

At first they delivered their fans two more winning years
But a pair of Knicks were nearing the end of their great careers
Ewing went west and then Larry Johnson quit
Then came the long December when they plunged into a pit

Resigning Van Gundy meant absolute disaster
Starting with poor Don Chaney not one coach could find success
Scott's moves were quite poor so the decline went faster
Bad contracts plus bad draft picks equals such an awful mess

The management of the team for which I root
Gave one man a hundred million just because that man could shoot
But Houston had a problem - a hopeless knee
Then Scott Layden picked up Keith Van Horn by trading Spree

They fired that bum and brought in Isiah Thomas
He came in with a vision and he said there would be change
If Layden was tornadoes then Zeke was comets
A lot of the decisions that he made were rather strange

He paid Steph Marbury and he paid Eddy Curry
And he paid Larry Brown lots to coach and much more to leave
He made deals and got nowhere in a hurry
And got the Knicks fans wishing he got not Stephon but Steve

Zeke got Zach Randolph which seemed solid at the time
But with Curry he's redundant like a cue card for a mime
Both held the ball and coughed it up and rarely would defend
With the paint full of guys like that it's quite hard to contend

They fired the bum sort of since he still is scouting
That's fine since it's the only job that he could he could do OK
The final box scores should involve much less routing
Sure, maybe not next season but somewhere along the way

They paid Indy's Donnie and they paid D'Antoni
They hope they can stop sliding down the steep and painful slope
Mike's teams play fast but the knock's they play no "D"
Will the new Knicks be better? I can only watch and hope

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - May 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Red Holzman and Dave DeBusschere are turning over in their graves, because they know it's all too true! It could take years for the Knickleheads to straighten things out. But you know what? New York would celebrate a basketball title even more than it has celebrated World Series, Super Bowl and Stanley Cup wins. People still talk about 1970 as if it happened yesterday. Alas... And how many players does a team send onto the court? Of course... 5.
Jeff Reuben - May 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Go Isaiah! Go far now :)
John Jenkins - May 30, 2008 - Report this comment
A very entertaining spoof of the team with the highest payroll and the 4th worst record in the NBA last year. The "redundant" line was very well placed.
LittleCupCakes - May 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Very well done, Sir ! Alhough I don't follow sports . . . A ~Johnny Horton~ tune is always a delight!

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