I left my house to go out and to dine
I thought I'd have just glass or two of wine
Although it turned out to be more like nine
I feel divine, I walk just fine

Proceeded on to bar at maybe one o'clock
I get myself a beer and one shot of Stock
And all my friends say I'm too drunk to walk
But I am fine - can walk straight line

The rest of night I've spent on parking lot
I'm drinking gin and vodka shot by shot
And alcohol - I think more should be bought
This round is mine - 'coz I'm still fine

Next thing I woke in hospital in bed
I crashed my car to wall, the doctor said
Police and doctors all were sure that I was dead
But I am fine - did not break spine

I swore to God that drinking I'll resign
(or maybe only glass or two of wine)
(make sure it won't turn to be eight or nine)
Drinks I'll decline - until next time