An old cobweb was hiding in the park where I do play
Upon a ledge in restroom, the arachnids they did stay
They crawl and pounce and bite I heard, take dead-eye aim with maw
A-chowing through their laggard prize, they sup with bloody jaw

My fanny felt so dire and some moves, they made me reel
Forlorn my crack was whiny and a pot rest was my zeal
A jolt of beer went spewing and it thundered down my thigh
And it spawned the spiders running hard and heading toward my fly

Zipper I show (zipper I show), zipper I splay (zipper I splay)
Gross spiders in my fly

My feces taut, big size I’ve heard, exert and choke regret
The spiders speed to catch the turd, my pants are like a net
‘Cause they’re hot to slide whenever I do change and zip my fly
In force, purporting ire, as they stride up on my fly

As the spiders scope the dry rim, I heard them all exclaim
“If you want to brave the bowl with smell, you might get the mange
So, now boy, strangely gaze away and split so we’ll subside
Defying a batch that’s undeterred, just leave us all those pies”

Zipper I show (zipper I show), zipper I splay (zipper I splay)
Gross spiders in my fly