Song Parodies -> "Wholesome Kitchen Blues"

Original Song Title:

"Folsom Prison Blues"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"Wholesome Kitchen Blues"

Parody Written by:

Roland Essaff

The Lyrics

I wrote this parody recently,prior to the tragic news that we have lost one of the greatest country singers that ever lived.He did have a sense of humor as indicated by his song "A BOY NAMED SUE". My condolences to his family,business associates and his many admiring fans. We will miss you Johnny.

Every morning at Mc Donalds
A big breakfast I do taste
I get their biggest platter
Now I've super-sized my waist

But I'll go on the Atkins diet
I'll join the local health spa very soon
And I'll plan my weight loss program
While sittin' at Dunkin' Donuts from nine 'til noon

When I was just a baby
I cried out to my mom
Put a milk shake in my bottle
And sweet syrup on my thumb

'cause I'm stuck here in my cradle
All day long and every night
And with all my kickin' and screamin'
I work up such an awful appetite

If I break out of this kitchen
Like I know I really should
I'll escape to Colonel Sanders
Where it's finger lickin' good

I'll meander through a candy store
For a chocolate bar to soothe my growling gut
While I'm on my way to the big buffet
At my favorite local Pizza Hut

So now my hobby's eating
Anything I want
Like snacks and packs of Cracker Jacks
And syrup from Vermont

I'm known at every fast-food eating place
So don't you cry
When I die
'cause I'll have a big fat smile on my face

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Michael Pacholek - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment

Pacing's a little off, and I did post first with a song with "Wholesome" in the title, but I didn't dock you for that. This was funny!

Michael Pacholek - September 16, 2003 - Report this comment

Johnny Cash did once say that the only thing that's really changed since he started out is that now, there's extra crispy. I think he was joking.

gabe - November 03, 2003 - Report this comment

Our parodies are similar. I propose mixing and matching the first verse of mine (Atkins Diet blues) with your last two verses, (and you've got the superior title) with adjustments for pacing. add a comment if you think that's a good idea...

David R. Essaff - February 18, 2004 - Report this comment

Of course I'm biased, I've always liked what my brother writes and sings. His wit and talent have added many happy memories to my life's history. And I'm sure Johnny Cash would have loved to have jammed with Roland as much as I'm sure Roland would have loved to have jammed with him.

Rachel Maher - March 09, 2004 - Report this comment

After my father (David Essaff) mentioned this parody, I figured I would take a look and see what the fuss was about. Having just recently discovered Johnny Cash, I really enjoyed this piece for its humor. The pace sounds just about right to me. Of course, I also could be biased. :)

Michelle Essaff Watts - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment

Dad, I think the songs you write are great. This one is cute and funny. Perhaps the next parody you write will make a lot of money! I Love you Daddy and Happy 61 birthday!

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