Daddy, what's a perv? Should I know about his vice?
Is he someone I would like if I met him once or twice?
How should I ought to handle him? Well do I have the nerve
To tell my children when they ask me "Daddy what's a perv?"

When I was just a boy and living with my mum and dad
There was an old man in our town that people said was bad.
His house was always open and his garden full of toys
And he would sit outside and smile at all the passing boys.

One day the police came round and took the man off in their car
And all the neighbours smashed his house up with a metal bar
His face was in the papers and he went away for good
Nobody spoke about it so I never understood!

Daddy, what's a perv? Should I know about his vice?
Is he someone I would like if I met him once or twice?
How should I ought to handle him? Well do I have the nerve
To tell my children when they ask me "Daddy what's a perv?"

My uncle was a kindly man who sat me on his knee
He gave me lots of cuddles when we sat and watched TV
He never did get married and suddenly one day
He packed up all his things and left. He simply went away.

My mother said, "I'm glad he's gone, you must forget him son
And if he ever comes back here, I'll shoot him with my gun."
Then he was never mentioned in our family's house again
And I was left with questions still unanswered in my brian.

Daddy, what's a perv? Should I know about his vice?
Is he someone I would like if I met him once or twice?
How should I ought to handle him? Well do I have the nerve
To tell my children when they ask me "Daddy what's a perv?"

Our priest was such a kindly man much loved by all his flock
It seemed to us that he would work so hard around the clock.
He especially liked the children and every girl and boy
Would go to him and he would say they were his special joy.

But then one day we heard he'd left, from whispers in the pews
"That is the sort of conduct that one really can't excuse"
The Bishop paid a visit dressed in his fine attire
And preached his special sermon about burning in the fire.

Daddy, what's a perv? Should I know about his vice?
Is he someone I would like if I met him once or twice?
How should I ought to handle him? Well do I have the nerve
To tell my children when they ask me "Daddy what's a perv?"