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Song Parodies -> "A Year Unalike"

Original Song Title:

"Sweet Betsy From Pike"

Original Performer:

John A Stone (American Traditional)

Parody Song Title:

"A Year Unalike"

Parody Written by:

Patrick McWilliams

The Lyrics

Sweet Betsy From Pike is a traditional American song from the era formerly known as Antebellum. The melody is likely from Ireland. It's flexible and lends itself well to long-windedness, which is why I find it attractive. Since no one reads or comments on my stuff anymore, I'll just send it out as I found it, in a spiral notebook in a closet in Kansas City.
You must wear a mask in case someone might sneeze
But read the fine print, it won't stop the disease
Soon they will tell you to cover your rump
And blame the whole screw up on President Trump

Singing "Here a lie, there a line, all's a lie, heh"!

I've turned back the clock, now I'm like Jesse James
His time and mine are too close to the same
He robbed a bank and lived live on the run
We both wear a mask and we carry a gun

Singin' "Stick 'em up, stick 'em up, stick 'em up, heh"!

We don't trust the doctors and we don't trust the Fed
Or anything someone in Congress has said
I'd swallow a bottle of Lysol myself
But there's none to be had on the grocery store shelf

Takin' chloroquine, chloroquine, chloroquin, NOT!

Can't go to museums to look at the art
In church we must pray at least six feet apart
The only place blockbuster movies are seen
In the palm of your hand on a postage stamp screen

Crying "Oscar buzz, Oscar buzz, Oscar buzz off"

A huge baseball park where nobody may sit
The catcher performs with a sanitized mitt
The infield will soon be a weed-covered lawn
Now that the vendors and ground crew are gone

Asking, "Take me out, take me out, take me out, when?"

Revenues down and the salaries gigantic
NFL owners becoming quite frantic
Who'll cheer the touchdowns of Patrick Mahomes?
Computer created invisible clones?

Chanting, "Tomahawk, tomahawk, tomahawk chop"

Anatomy lesson, I know it's correct
A man cannot breathe with a knee on his neck
The death of George Floyd's a convenient excuse
To throw rocks at cops and to pilfer some shoes

Singing, "BLM, BLM, BLM, Pay"!

Our vaccine experiment can't do no harm
And you'll get a microchip there in your arm
We'll know where you are 'til the day you're deceased
Oh, and please do not call it "The Mark of the Beast"

Singing, "Hut two three, hut two three, hut two three four"

This all will be over, or so I have heard
If we vote for Joe Biden on November third
The ballots of dead men will rescue us all
'Til the regular flu season starts in the fall

Singing, "Guns, God, and Guts made us great, now good-bye".

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Phil Urich - August 03, 2020 - Report this comment
What a year, eh? And there's still five more fun-filled months to go!
Patrick - August 03, 2020 - Report this comment
If you think the riots have been bad so far, wait 'til the vote count starts.
CML - August 04, 2020 - Report this comment
You'll have to rewrite the George Flloyd stanza now that certain additinal body cam footage has been leaked. GF was complaining about difficulty breathing way before he was put on the ground. Thats because he had ODed on fentanyl, which will suppress the action of your diaphram. Which is why fentanyl kills over 20K people a year. This drug is 50 to 100 times more powerful.than morphine, which means a street dealer can readily measure out a lethal dose. It is fentanyl plus the fact that GF had an attack of extreme panic plus the fact he had dangerous amounts of plaque in his heart that killed him. Nobody could have survived that trifecta
Patrick - August 06, 2020 - Report this comment
GF was telling the cop that he was "not a bad person". He kept repeating that. He also started talking about being unable to breathe before he was placed on the ground. The officer was trying to prevent him from aspirating vomit in the event the drugs caused him to throw up. Floyd was already effectively dead by the time he was placed in the car. The riots were originally set to start over the killing of the jogger in Atlanta, but the video of that event was not as clear (at least to me). The George Floyd video was considerably more graphic. Makes you wonder what would have happened had the police just simply let GF fall to the ground and die unattended. A no win situation for everyone except the white radicals of BLM.
Truth - August 06, 2020 - Report this comment
Simply put, they would have rioted over Rayshard Brooks instead of Floyd.
CML - August 11, 2020 - Report this comment
GF comes.off a guy.whos trying to sweet talk the cops out of arresting him. Hence "Im not a bad person" and "Im not hat guy" (His former self who commited the felony that sent him to prison?) Trouble is, he's already too far gone to act or sound coherent. Which is why saying that hes actively resisting arrest is misleading. He wasnt capable of making any kind of decision to resist. Legally, he didnt have the mens rea to.commitsny crime ...... He definitely panicked at the thought of going into the squad car, because that means going back to prison. He actually comes off as a sympathetic character who made a huge mistake
Patrick - August 11, 2020 - Report this comment
The whole disaster started with Floyd spending, or attempting to spend a fake $20 bill. Some accounts say that another party first attempted to pass the counterfeit and was rejected and then gave it to Floyd. You can buy packs of fake US currency online in all denominations from $1 to $100. A friend rents suitcases of them to rap artists making drug deal videos. If the bill is a bit dirty and the guy getting it is befuddled by drugs, it could pass. Some kids in Kansas City tried to buy dope with a fake $100 and ended up shooting the dealer when he started a fight. Court TV showed the George Floyd video this morning. The cop was loud and threatening. You wonder if he talks to white people that way. The whole affair epitomizes the "life is cheap" mantra.

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