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Song Parodies -> "X-Sea Creature"

Original Song Title:

"Bandolina"

Original Performer:

John A. Barry

Parody Song Title:

"X-Sea Creature"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Parody of a parody x12!!! Mine deals with the recent controversy of proof of aquatic human life from the psuedo-documentary "Mermaid: The Body Found" and the entire story/theory behind it of a branch of humanity millions of years ago (sea apes) leaving the land for the ocean. This brought about further evolution and the historic tales of Mermaids and Mermen. In 1997, a strange acoustic signature was recorded that could not be identified as any creature in the sea, so it is an X- Sea Creature, unidentified as of yet. No one heard that strange sound again until 2004 when the USN was conducting submarine sonic weapon blast tests that caused the beaching and deaths of many whales. Among the dead was found a body of another creature with webbed hands caught on a cell phone cam by a boy who told his story but was later harassed by the US Navy to the point that the boy's mother had him change his story. But a few years later and another acoustic signature was picked up off RSA by an array and it matched the 2004 and 1997 recordings. Slowing it down to human range the cries of something totally unknown under the water was revealed and its linguistic skills are higher than a dolphin or a whale. It was also communicating WITH the dolphins prior to the sonic blasts. Later, a great white shark had its innards emptied and claimed proof showed up this time that was supposedly examined by experts showing hands, a tail with bones in it, what used to be legs inside, a flex hip, and parts of a weapon that had been carved! Similar unknown weapons have appeared in caught fish in the Baltic and the Atlantic with no explanation. This weapon matched and was catalogued. Meanwhile the USN denies no such creature, but had been present under tight security in the 2004 beachings. Several unidentified people claimed that they worked for the USN or other civilian agencies that saw the creatures and maintain that some are alive in captivity under secure guard. NOAA has recently claimed there is still no solid proof and the US Govt. and Navy deny any creatures were ever captured or are being held. The documentary has been labeled a hoax while many believe it is just another military cover-up! NOAA claims some evidence has surfaced, but everything is speculative concerning aquatic human life.
X-Sea Creature, X-Sea Creature, just what are you?
Sub(marine) sonic sea weapon had driven you wild
Drove you insane, damaged your brain, blood in a pool
Now your body lies amongst beached whale piles

(Cell phone pics taken by a child)

An array had picked-up your screams X-Sea Creature—
your cries to dolphins by frequency was smart
Seems that evolution has missed a step
sea apes not there, just sea myth fare
Now hysterics, scare us X-Sea Creature,
hunting abilities and linguistics are sharp

For that X-Sea Creature, you are marked

Evolved or Creator-made X-Sea Creature—
no one can tell from your now recovered parts,
you the X-Sea Creature of Old, half fish—
Once had breathed air. . .and walked, thick hair
But then turned bare, tail grew X-Sea Creature
Metamorphosis; hunted the Megalodon Shark!!!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   0
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 5   9
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User Comments

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John Barry - October 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Going for 13.
AFW - October 02, 2012 - Report this comment
I sea what you're saying
Rob Arndt - October 02, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks AFW... and JAB, I'll see your 13 and raise ya 14 on Wed ;-)

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