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Song Parodies -> "Jersey Pig"

Original Song Title:

"Spiderman TV Theme Song"

Original Performer:

Joey Scarbury

Parody Song Title:

"Jersey Pig"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

No one is gonna elect a fat President that can't even control his own weight...!!!
Jersey Pig, Jersey Pig
Man, Chris Christie is REALLY BIG!
430 lbs, pants 60 size
Way he eats, is gonna die
Look out! Here comes that Jersey Pig!

Heart is strong? He‘s an eater!
Future coronary seizure!
Eats as soon as he‘s outta bed
Krispy Kremes overfed!
Hey there, there goes that Jersey Pig!

In the dead of night,
In the frig, portly guy
Can’t fight appetite
Gorging on fat pork pies!

Jersey Pig, Jersey Pig
The scandal-ridden Jersey Pig
Health and frame, he's ignored
“Super-size” is his reward

To him, life is endless buffet
In a fast food drive-thru lane
You'll find that Jersey Pig!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   2
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Jonathan - January 29, 2014 - Report this comment
I'm a tad bit overweight myself and I'd be lying if I said I didn't find this funny! 5's
Dave W. - channeling Porky Pig - January 29, 2014 - Report this comment
ubbadda ubbadda ubbadda ubbadda He sounds like a nice guy to me....
Skinny - January 29, 2014 - Report this comment
At 430 lb., he could run for president AND vice president, with flab left over. Before a gastric band was wrapped around his stomach, he weighed around 350. Satirically, he weighed 430.
Rob Arndt - January 29, 2014 - Report this comment
Thnx guys... was inspired by Homer Simpson's "Spiderpig" in that movie!
Rob Arndt - January 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Chris Christie HAS lost weight but is still very morbidly obese. His fattest weight WAS 434 lbs and his pant size comes from taylor accounts as Christie tried to keep his weight and sizes secret but word leaked out. He now claims he is halfway home with his weight loss and yet still eats lots of donuts and unhealthy, greasy breakfast foods. He's lost 80 lbs, so 80 more will be 270 which is still overweight for his height. Any weight over 240 for a normal size man and is not muscle is killing that person slowly. And I don't buy that many fat people are happy that way- I think they say that as a self-defense mechanism. Thin is not only forever in, but healthier than being obese. The harder the human body is worked the better it becomes leading to strength, endurance, stamina, and beauty. Christie should ask Kim Jong Un if he could live in N Korea for year. He'd lose all that extra weight and then some!!!
Amazed - January 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Are you saying that being obese is bad for your health? Who knew? Thanx.
Big Fan - January 30, 2014 - Report this comment
The more Christie, the better.
Warren Sapp - January 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Don't call me a pig you mofo!
Rob Arndt - January 30, 2014 - Report this comment
@Amazed, if you ever go to the South in the US people not only know but don't care. They fry every battered and breaded thing in fatty oils and still use lard to cook with in restaurants. Rednecks don't care 'bout fat chicks and the fat women are chubbie chasers. Cholesterol heaven. Christie acknowledges his weight problem and tries to make the most out of his claimed weight loss but still eats like a damn pig on donuts and fatty foods in bulk. Why are you defending him? Do the names John Candy and Chris Farley ring a bell? If they were alive today they both could play Gov Christie!!!
Amazed - January 30, 2014 - Report this comment
Chris Christie has won the annual Hoboken Donut Eating Contest five years in a row, beating his toughest competitor The Jelly Man, Vinny Grimaldi, of Bayonne.
“Christie Kreme, the donut machine,” is the Governor’s slogan. “He can eat over three dozen donuts in fifteen minutes, four dozen if he doesn’t have his usual 25 breakfast pancakes to start the day,” says New Jersey Lieutenant Governor Kim Guadagno.
Christie is particularly good at eating Chocolate Glazed Donuts without chewing. He just pops a chocolate glazed, or a marble frosted donut in his mouth and it just kind of slides down to his belly. He’s amazing, and I remain Amazed – and a bit misty-eyed. Christie for President and Grimaldi for Vice-President!
Big Fan - January 31, 2014 - Report this comment
Rob, you closet Commie, you are an agent in Michelle Obama's campaign to starve our children with fruits and vegetables and then subject them to cruel exercise, thus sapping them of their precious bodily fluids. President Christie will be a model to all Americans from tailgate barbecue partiers to hearty trenchermen to our mall patriots at all-you-can-eat buffets. Our Founding Eaters abolished anorexia in Article 3, Section 14, Row E, Seat 8 of the Constitution. Eat up, Chris, ya big lug.
Patrick - January 31, 2014 - Report this comment
If Christie runs, he will force voters to pay special attention to his vice-presidential running mate.
Rob Arndt - January 31, 2014 - Report this comment
It's sad that people with celebrity status AND money can't get fit. I loved John Candy, but it was hard to read that while he was filming his last movie his daily diet was largely buckets of greasy chicken and loaves of bread (for endless sandwiches). And much of White Trash/Redneck television promotes obesity as if it were normal. I like diversity, so I confess that I find "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TLC-West funny. But even though the family loves one another and has some morals and values, the mom June is setting a bad example with her weight indifference and letting the girls stay obese while still teens (Anna is the exception). Of course, pigging-out for the camera is part of the fun, but June could try harder. She feeds her family of 7 on reportedly $88/wk + coupons + roadkill. Very penny-pinching and resourceful until you see all the fatty Southern foods and all that junk food. Christie just needs to stay away from fatty breakfast foods and his love of donuts. The guy looks like a walking heart attack waiting to happen.
Homer Simpson - January 31, 2014 - Report this comment
Mmmm, greasy chicken. Arrhh!

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