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Song Parodies -> "Chris's Peter, Then Pine"

Original Song Title:

"Kisses Sweeter Than Wine"

Original Performer:

Jimmie Rodgers

Parody Song Title:

"Chris's Peter, Then Pine"

Parody Written by:

Stan Hall

The Lyrics

"Chris’s Peter, Then Pine"


Well, there once was a young man, his name it was Chris,
his girl, Sadie, said “Honey, my mill needs some more grist.
I’m a hot little girl for whom bliss is to pull a train.
Oh, Lordy, gimme this meat again!”

But ‘twas too bad -- Chris’s peter was dyin’,
she had mmm, mmm, Chris’s peter, then pine.
(Peter, then pine.)

Well, he begged her to marry him and be his for life,
She said, “Get a strap-on to offset your dull knife.”
Thus legged as she needed, übernatural man
he seemed, so Lordy, well, she gave him her hand.

Because, when sad Chris’s peter was dyin’
she had mmm, mmm, Chris’s peter, then pine.
(Peter, then pine.)

Well, he tried to stay hard to please Sadie, his bride,
and to satisfy the strumpets that he screwed on the side .
When worn out with Sheila, then he cheated with Lynn,
and then, whoops! Oh Lordy, Sadie paid for his sin …

Because, poor lad, Chris’s peter was dyin’
she had mmm, mmm, Chris’s peter, then pine.
(Peter, then pine.)

Well, the fill-in-guy lumber Sadie trusted to score
when her hubby’s sore peter couldn’t rock her no more
was a Louisville Slugger signed by O’s number 8
who’d played twenty-six hundred and thirty-two straight.

So when sore-nads Chris’s peter was dyin’
she had mmm, mmm, Chris’s peter, then pine.
(Peter, then pine.)

Well, now that they’re old Sadie still can’t forgo
those seconds and Chris, he still never says “No.”
Heaven forbid Chris’s int’rest should wane
while, still unbored, she's saying do it again.

Sadie’d go mad with his need for her dyin’.
She would mmm, mmm miss his …peter … then … pine.
© Stan Hall ... yeah, yeah, I know the only pine likely to be part of a baseball bat is some tar to tacky up the grip, but ash, maple, hickoy, etc. don;t fit the rhyme scheme. And don't even say the word "aluminum." :-)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   3
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User Comments

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Jason - March 22, 2008 - Report this comment
Very good! 555
alvin - March 22, 2008 - Report this comment
naughty and goofy at the same time...love the ripkin reference
UnKnownVotress - March 24, 2008 - Report this comment
< !!! >
Stan - March 24, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks, folks. Not much action on this one, but I'm glad you all like it. :-)

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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