Away with John Major, Edwina took trips,
She’d wear patterned stockings and nibble his lips,
At opportune moments she’d call at his home
They’d caress on the sofa and let their hands roam.

Once on an impulse she blew out his candle
Then rolled on the carpet, unbuckled his sandal;
Of all Britain’s leaders she liked him the most,
They shared simple breakfasts, like baked beans on toast.

Once in the office, John sent out a fax
But when he turned round she’d slipped-off her slacks,
Edwina looked tempting in mauve underwear
But John nearly fainted so he sat on a chair.

His glasses had steamed-up and he begged her to leave
But then she did something you would not believe!
And that’s what I’ve heard about John and Edwina
From Nicholas Ridley and a Downing Street cleaner.