-> "The Ballad of David and Michal"
Original Song Title:
"Sobbin' Women"
Original Performer:
Howard Keel and brothers
Parody Song Title:
"The Ballad of David and Michal"
The Lyrics
Verse 1
Tell ya 'bout a gal named Michal (pronounced MEE-kal),
The daughter of King Saul.
It seems Goliath challenged the Jews
A threat to Israel all.
Well, I’m not sure Michal realized
That she somehow became first prize.
So David zapped him ‘tween the eyes.
And became the roy’l son-in-law.
Oh yes!
Chorus 1
Then-a Michal she loved him, loved him, loved him
So she replied
Her affections would gladly, gladly, gladly
Be David’s bride.
But Michal had an older sis
Whose name was Merab. Now get this.
Saul’s mind had wandered so remotely amiss
Merab’s no longer a “Miss”
So now the deal we dismiss
‘Til Saul saw Michal kiss.
Verse 2
Tell ya ‘bout the life of Michal
As David’s lovely bride
David could do nothing wrong
With Michal by his side.
And when the people did confess
They liked Dave more, they liked Saul less
And that included the Princess
That wounded Daddy’s pride.
Chorus 2
Saul then set out to kill him, kill him, kill him
Michal was scared.
She let him down through a window, window, window
Showing she cared.
Well, when Saul dropped by to David kill
Michal protested “David’s ill.”
Saul growled “Bring the bed. My mission I’ll fulfill.
Jon and Michal, just chill.”
Verse 3
Tell ya ‘bout the Ark of the Cov’nent,
God’s mobile residence.
The Levites carried God all around,
From Sinai in that tent.
Now if any man not from Levi,
Should touch the ark, he’d surely die.
God’s holiness was reason why
That rule could not be bent
Verse 4
Tell ya ‘bout the fightin’
‘Tween Isra’l and Philistia
Isra’l was beat at Aphek
Phinehas had an idea:
When we go to battle, take the Ark,
Our God will surely make His mark,
But ooh that thinking proved so dark
The Ark, now captured, we see-a.
Chorus 3
But Philistia got damage, damage, damage
Brought them to tears
All the wrath God could manage, manage, manage
Fed on their fears.
So they called on Pharoah for advice
He’d fought with Yahweh once or twice
So Pharoah told them “Frankly, I’ll be concise.
“Yahweh doesn’t fight nice.
“Though the Ark may entice
“Rid yourself of that vice.”
Verse 5
Tell ya ‘bout how excited was Israel
To have the Ark returned.
It lay 60 years where Philistia dumped it
Israel was that concerned
When David donned his Kingly hat,
He said “Enough’s enough of that.”
He told the Levites, “Bring it back.”
And pray the Ark is unburned.”
Chorus 4
Volunteers numb’ring thirty, thirty thousand
Answered the call.
So deliriously happy, happy, happy
The King threw a ball.
He danced, not caring he looked the fool
He danced to the Lord, it was inside the rule,
Until his toga opened. Whoa! that was not cool
She-servants got a view.
Michal saw it and knew
Her love for David was through
Verse 6
Tell ya ‘bout God’s involvements
Visible or not
So infinite the answers to
The question, “What hath God wrought?”
God never gave Michal a son
For such would be with King’s wife One
So Saul’s line then would carry on
And David’s line come to naught.
Chorus 5
Take a look at Two Samuel, Samuel, Samuel
Six at verse twenty
Then gander Two Samuel, Samuel, Samuel
Six twenty-three
These verses say, “daughter of Saul.”
This scene takes place at David’s walls
Context would describe her aptly as ”David’s squall.”
She was acting like Saul.
Her son might be David’s downfall.
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 5.0 | |
How Funny: | 5.0 | |
Overall Rating: | 5.0 | |
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Total Votes: | 14 |
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Voting Breakdown
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