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Song Parodies -> "Cigarette Rock"
Original Song Title:
"Jingle Bell Rock"
Original Performer:
Holiday Songs
Parody Song Title:
"Cigarette Rock"
Parody Written by:
Andria
The Lyrics
My second annual Christmas-carol parody about my nicotine addiction. Yes, I'm smoking again, and I'm up to two or more packs a day now, due to stress and seasonal depression.
My first cigarette-themed Christmas-song parody, written when I wasn't smoking at the time
FTR, I've never tried crack.
My first cigarette-themed Christmas-song parody, written when I wasn't smoking at the time
FTR, I've never tried crack.
Cigarettes, cigarettes, smoke ‘em a lot
Cigarette butts all over my place
Coughin’ and hackin’ up bad-smellin’ phlegm;
Lung disease begins…
Nicotine, nicotine, love it a lot
Nicotine gets me through a rough day
Huffin’ and puffin’ on a Marlboro Red
In my livin’ room
I will not quit, until I die
Chain-smokin’ cigarettes
Cigarette breaks are a swell time
To start puffin’ on an Old Gold Light
Coughin’ up fetid goo, smellin’ like smoke
Smokin’ around the clock;
Totally addicted to the nicotine stick
But not the crack-cocaine rock!
Cigarettes, cigarettes, smoke ‘em a lot
Cigarette butts all over my place
Coughin’ and hackin’ up bad-smellin’ phlegm;
Lung disease begins…
Nicotine, nicotine, love it a lot
Nicotine gets me through a rough day
Huffin’ and puffin’ on a Marlboro Red
In my livin’ room
I will not quit, until I die
Chain-smokin’ cigarettes
Cigarette breaks are a swell time
To start puffin’ on an Old Gold Light
Coughin’ up fetid goo, smellin’ like smoke
Smokin’ around the clock;
Totally addicted to the nicotine stick
But not the crack-cocaine rock!
Hooked on cigarettes
Hooked on nicotine
Not the crack-cocaine rock!
Cigarette butts all over my place
Coughin’ and hackin’ up bad-smellin’ phlegm;
Lung disease begins…
Nicotine, nicotine, love it a lot
Nicotine gets me through a rough day
Huffin’ and puffin’ on a Marlboro Red
In my livin’ room
I will not quit, until I die
Chain-smokin’ cigarettes
Cigarette breaks are a swell time
To start puffin’ on an Old Gold Light
Coughin’ up fetid goo, smellin’ like smoke
Smokin’ around the clock;
Totally addicted to the nicotine stick
But not the crack-cocaine rock!
Cigarettes, cigarettes, smoke ‘em a lot
Cigarette butts all over my place
Coughin’ and hackin’ up bad-smellin’ phlegm;
Lung disease begins…
Nicotine, nicotine, love it a lot
Nicotine gets me through a rough day
Huffin’ and puffin’ on a Marlboro Red
In my livin’ room
I will not quit, until I die
Chain-smokin’ cigarettes
Cigarette breaks are a swell time
To start puffin’ on an Old Gold Light
Coughin’ up fetid goo, smellin’ like smoke
Smokin’ around the clock;
Totally addicted to the nicotine stick
But not the crack-cocaine rock!
Hooked on cigarettes
Hooked on nicotine
Not the crack-cocaine rock!
Happy Holidays!
And please don't make the mistake of getting hooked on nicotine as a child, like I did! ;-)
And please don't make the mistake of getting hooked on nicotine as a child, like I did! ;-)
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 3 | 2 | 3 | ||||||||
| 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 3 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 7 | 7 | 8 |
User Comments
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Me too Andria. Wish we lived closer...we could help each other. In the meantime, we are like that famous Christmas song about the child percussionist...Dumb, Dumb Dumb Dumb!
Describes the nastiness of smoking very well...good one
Thanks OMR... I'm going to go out today and buy nicotine gum and nicotine patches to try and quit before I end up with emphysema or lung cancer, and thanks, AFW.
Couldn't quite get some of this to pace to memory, but I try to avoid tos as much as I can, so botd (benefit of the doubt) there. The gum is better these days than it used to be. I feel your pain. By the way, look above the bar code on your pack - see the letters "FSC"? Fire safety cigarettes. Something new - that's why the little f****** won't stay lit now.
Have to admit I found the way it didn't follow the OS's rhyme schemes a bit annoying, but best of luck in quitting :-)
I know far too many people that these killed.
Good parody...
I'll share this with my co-workers at the National Cancer Institute :) (no joke, that's really where I work). Well written stuff.
Thanks Red Ant... thanks for vote, compliment and sympathy, and I noticed the "FSC" and the way they don't stay lit last time I opened a pack, and I have a patch on now, thanks Phil, thanks Mark, I agree, cigarettes are killers, that's why they're called coffin nails and cancer sticks, and thanks Jeff... feel free to share it.
Blowing little Smoke Rings
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