Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Cigarette Rock"

Original Song Title:

"Jingle Bell Rock"

Original Performer:

Holiday Songs

Parody Song Title:

"Cigarette Rock"

Parody Written by:

Andria

The Lyrics

My second annual Christmas-carol parody about my nicotine addiction. Yes, I'm smoking again, and I'm up to two or more packs a day now, due to stress and seasonal depression.

My first cigarette-themed Christmas-song parody, written when I wasn't smoking at the time

FTR, I've never tried crack.
Cigarettes, cigarettes, smoke ‘em a lot
Cigarette butts all over my place
Coughin’ and hackin’ up bad-smellin’ phlegm;
Lung disease begins…

Nicotine, nicotine, love it a lot
Nicotine gets me through a rough day
Huffin’ and puffin’ on a Marlboro Red
In my livin’ room

I will not quit, until I die
Chain-smokin’ cigarettes
Cigarette breaks are a swell time
To start puffin’ on an Old Gold Light
Coughin’ up fetid goo, smellin’ like smoke
Smokin’ around the clock;
Totally addicted to the nicotine stick
But not the crack-cocaine rock!

Cigarettes, cigarettes, smoke ‘em a lot
Cigarette butts all over my place
Coughin’ and hackin’ up bad-smellin’ phlegm;
Lung disease begins…

Nicotine, nicotine, love it a lot
Nicotine gets me through a rough day
Huffin’ and puffin’ on a Marlboro Red
In my livin’ room

I will not quit, until I die
Chain-smokin’ cigarettes
Cigarette breaks are a swell time
To start puffin’ on an Old Gold Light
Coughin’ up fetid goo, smellin’ like smoke
Smokin’ around the clock;
Totally addicted to the nicotine stick
But not the crack-cocaine rock!

Hooked on cigarettes
Hooked on nicotine
Not the crack-cocaine rock!

Happy Holidays!

And please don't make the mistake of getting hooked on nicotine as a child, like I did! ;-)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2
 3
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 0
 
 4   1
 3
 2
 
 5   7
 7
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - December 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Me too Andria. Wish we lived closer...we could help each other. In the meantime, we are like that famous Christmas song about the child percussionist...Dumb, Dumb Dumb Dumb!
AFW - December 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Describes the nastiness of smoking very well...good one
Andria - December 07, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks OMR... I'm going to go out today and buy nicotine gum and nicotine patches to try and quit before I end up with emphysema or lung cancer, and thanks, AFW.
Red Ant - December 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Couldn't quite get some of this to pace to memory, but I try to avoid tos as much as I can, so botd (benefit of the doubt) there. The gum is better these days than it used to be. I feel your pain. By the way, look above the bar code on your pack - see the letters "FSC"? Fire safety cigarettes. Something new - that's why the little f****** won't stay lit now.
Phil Alexander - December 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Have to admit I found the way it didn't follow the OS's rhyme schemes a bit annoying, but best of luck in quitting :-)
Mark Scotti - December 08, 2009 - Report this comment
I know far too many people that these killed. Good parody...
Jeff Reuben - December 08, 2009 - Report this comment
I'll share this with my co-workers at the National Cancer Institute :) (no joke, that's really where I work). Well written stuff.
Andria - December 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Red Ant... thanks for vote, compliment and sympathy, and I noticed the "FSC" and the way they don't stay lit last time I opened a pack, and I have a patch on now, thanks Phil, thanks Mark, I agree, cigarettes are killers, that's why they're called coffin nails and cancer sticks, and thanks Jeff... feel free to share it.
Alpha Skua - December 20, 2023 - Report this comment
Blowing little Smoke Rings

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/holidaysongs14.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 5122