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Song Parodies -> "A Line That Can’t Be Retracted"
Original Song Title:
"A Little Bit Independent"
Original Performer:
Herbie Kay & His Orchestra
Parody Song Title:
"A Line That Can’t Be Retracted"
Parody Written by:
The Holy Matrimony of Ben Pollack & Doris Robbins
The Lyrics
You’re on the show, not by yourself...
A line that can’t be retracted, it was said,
A line that can’t be retracted, blushing red,
Four words said on a TV stage in New York,
Assistant’s easy on the eyes...
Those four words can’t be retracted, they’re not fake,
Said a young Scout, “Boy, you’re terrific cheesecake!”
Imagine of George and Germaine Briant’s take,
Assistant’s easy on the eyes,
When someone finds this kinescope,
Don’t throw it in a well,
You’ll see “Roxanne”‘s a pretty show,
Ben Pollack’s wife’s not as swell!*
A line that can’t be retracted, it’s on file,
His mouth washed out with a soap bar, in that style,
But how could he help but love her all the while,
When “Roxanne”’s easy on the eyes...
(Instrumental break)
Those four words can’t be retracted, they’re not fake,
Said a young Scout, “Boy, you’re terrific cheesecake!”
Imagine of George and Germaine Briant’s take,
That show’s assistant; easy on the eyes!
(END!)
A line that can’t be retracted, it was said,
A line that can’t be retracted, blushing red,
Four words said on a TV stage in New York,
Assistant’s easy on the eyes...
Those four words can’t be retracted, they’re not fake,
Said a young Scout, “Boy, you’re terrific cheesecake!”
Imagine of George and Germaine Briant’s take,
Assistant’s easy on the eyes,
When someone finds this kinescope,
Don’t throw it in a well,
You’ll see “Roxanne”‘s a pretty show,
Ben Pollack’s wife’s not as swell!*
A line that can’t be retracted, it’s on file,
His mouth washed out with a soap bar, in that style,
But how could he help but love her all the while,
When “Roxanne”’s easy on the eyes...
(Instrumental break)
Those four words can’t be retracted, they’re not fake,
Said a young Scout, “Boy, you’re terrific cheesecake!”
Imagine of George and Germaine Briant’s take,
That show’s assistant; easy on the eyes!
(END!)
*Apologies to Doris Robbins.
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| 5 | 2 | 2 | 2 |
User Comments
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This was originally submitted 14 months ago, when I had a bit more free time, and variety in songs to parody, than I currently have now. (No explanation is necessary for the topic being parodied here.) Now, it would make little sense to parody a Herbie Kay song other than “Rhythm Steps”, because that one has been parodied so often. And there are others I have not parodied yet, such as “Remember Last Night” and “Sunday on the Swanee”. (“Za Zoo Za”, on the other hand, is virtually impossible to work into an entirely new lyrical form.) But the main reason why I have done “Rhythm Steps” so much over the past six months is because it’s so much easier and quicker to do that song than any of the others I’ve previously parodied. It only takes five minutes for me to create an entire new parody based off that song. Surprised, really, that no one else has picked up on it. Also just noticed that someone parodied a song called “Dancing in the Moonlight” a couple of weeks ago, which is NOT the 1934 Ben Pollack recording, but a different song by a band called Toploader.
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