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Song Parodies -> "We've Closed The Ports On Our West Coast"

Original Song Title:

"I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day"

Original Performer:

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Parody Song Title:

"We've Closed The Ports On Our West Coast"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

Yesterday, the Occupy forces launched an effort to shut down all major ports on the U.S. Pacific Coast. Once again, we heard a babel of confusing voices shouting their ratonale. (3% of one company is owned by Wall Street, among others!) Naturally, spokespeople claimed unanimous support of labor "rank and file", despite the workers who lost badly-needed wages. Well, you can't make quiche without breaking a few eggs! ;D

"We've closed all ports on our West Coast",
The Occupiers proudly boast.
No freight has moved and we have proved
We will dismember Goldman-Sachs.

From Canada to Mexico,
Across our lines none dare to go.
Our message sent: "Hey, one percent!
We'll break your filthy evil backs!".

All union rank and file - back us!
Help us to cause this awful fuss.
No work today, but your lost pay
Is a small price for our attacks.

Come join our shutdown brotherhood.
Your pain is for our greater good.
'Though you're employed, don't get annoyed -
You'll get rich from our wealthy tax!

And in D.C. Obama gloats
And counts his Occupier votes.
We heed his blare for class warfare.
We're with each other to the max!

I'm no Longfellow but, at 5'11", I'm no "short fellow" either. A prediction - as winter comes to the east and midwest, watch the epicenter of the Occupy movement shift to California, Oregon, and Washington. Although the West Coast attitude of "anything radical goes" is a factor, in the end it's the more moderate climate which will keep the fires burning. ;D

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Steve A. Door - December 13, 2011 - Report this comment
OMR gets ONE from MORON.
Old Man Ribber - December 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Steve (Cool name!) - That is the most repeated headline in press history. I shrug them off when it's one or two at a time, but last Monday's "one bomb flash mob" was something else. That's how it goes here "on the waterfront". (I coulda been a contender instead of a bum.) ;D
Johnny D (a.k.a. The Comedian) - December 13, 2011 - Report this comment
'Tis the season for political satire!
AFW - December 13, 2011 - Report this comment
They may be hanging out in restrooms...I see lots of signs that say, "Occupied"
Barry J. Mitchel - December 13, 2011 - Report this comment
It's easier to sing "Is tiny price" than "Is a small price" but otherwise a 555.
Andria - December 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Great job, I'm all too familiar with this seeing as I live with a short walk of my local Occupy camp and have had to put a "Private Property. No Dumping, Post No Ads Or Political Statements" sign made from an old real-estate sign in the yard due to trash and handbills. 5s.
Old Man Ribber - December 13, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, my friends. I am such a sad old fogey, but I do have the multiple gifts of satire, time, and rhyme. My heart goes out to the gentle witty man from Ohio, my skillful alter ego in Virginia (a pitiless editor whom I admire), and an awesome little red-haired girl (I am indeed Charlie Brown!) in Oregon. I will soon make my 400 ( a trifle next to JAB and others), but in this case the 'net is true reality. I have come to know you as the best of friends and my warmest wishes are for you and others here. THIS is what the site is about! ;D

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