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Song Parodies -> "The Pack of Lies John Kerry Told"

Original Song Title:

"A Buckskin Bag of Gold"

Original Performer:

Henry Clay Work(1869) - Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"The Pack of Lies John Kerry Told"

Parody Written by:

Coral Snake

The Lyrics

Midi for A Buckskin Bag of Gold available at: http://www.pdmusic.org/work.html
(Misical introduction:)

(1.)
The DemocRATS now have their guy
The man with Botox eyes;
With The truth about him coming out
And it's a big surprise!
His hero status was a crock,
And big whoppers were sold,
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.

(CHORUS)
No! (Ha! ha!) Kerry's not the man!
Was neither brave nor bold.
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.
Here (Ha! ha!) it's big lier John!
A bill of goods he sold;
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.

(2.)
The strangest tour we ever saw
As we look at it now now!
A Swift Boat tour, it should last a year,
Was only four months, how.
Through self inflicted injuries,
From one not brave nor bold,
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.

(CHORUS)
No! (Ha! ha!) Kerry's not the man!
Was neither brave nor bold.
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.
Here (Ha! ha!) it's big lier John!
A bill of goods he sold;
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.

(3.)
That package of John Kerry's lies,
Would gain a horrid fame;
When as "Winter Soldier" they'll be sold,
As others John gave blame!
He gave himself the hero's role,
So haughty, proud and cold,
And he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.

(CHORUS)
No! (Ha! ha!) Kerry's not the man!
Was neither brave nor bold.
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.
Here (Ha! ha!) it's big lier John!
A bill of goods he's sold;
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.

(4.)
Now that the truth is coming out,
Don't make him President!
He will grab your guns, push the UN
And tax your every cent!
This RAT, he has the same old bill,
On Iraq to be sold!
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.

(CHORUS)
No! (Ha! ha!) Kerry's not the man!
Was neither brave nor bold.
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.
Here (Ha! ha!) it's big lier John!
A bill of goods he sold;
As he called others, war criminals,
In the pack of lies he told.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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anon - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
preach on, friend
Michael Pacholek - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
A Republican voting for Bush and calling Kerry a liar is like a Red Sox fan saying the Yankees choke. It's so mind-bogglingly the opposite of reality as to be laughable.
Paul Robinson - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael, this is almost funny - I wrote an e-mail to a friend today that more or less parodied the typical rant from the rabid right that we have been seeing on occasional around here of late (think: Big G, wade, domover or donover or whatever). And it's ALMOST exactly like THIS parody. But, yes, it still is mind-boggling. Coral, hope you don't mind me ignoring you here, but I promised myself that I would stay out of this area of the pool for a while. I can't see the bottom but it sure feels yucky underneath my toes...not voting, DKTOS the original anyway...
Adagio - August 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Really good job, Coral...sorry I can't vote, couldn't find the midi! (I agree with you, btw)
Coral Snake - August 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Michael Pacholek, Paul Robinson I'm making a FORMAL CHALLENG to your hero on this board, William Tong to enable comments on his songs like I do. His refusal to do so is just another "Liberal" attack on free speech.
Royce Miller - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Coral, I'm with you, buddy; I appreciate your stuff and you have every right to put it forth, as much as do the "rabid left", or let's see, that doesn't alliterate, how about "loopy left".
Paul Robinson - August 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Coral, you'll have to address William on that. I'm not in charge of him. Actually, I have no idea whether he and I share common political positions, beyond not thinking very much of Bush, et al - I really don't look at much of his stuff. I suspect William doesn't activate comments because he does not have the time, desire or need to read them. He writes a lot of stuff, and I think he has his own Website, although I am not sure. He was around here way before I was and we have never exchanged any communications. I don't know if his decision in this matter has anything to do with any ideological position or posture. Now, one thing I DO find interesting is that many folks who appear to consider themselves "Conservative" (please notice I am not making a judgment on that here) seem to have a need to place me(and other people who disagree with them) in a labelled box. Oddly enough, I happen to think through all my positions on my very own. I don't get an instruction sheet in the mail from "Liberal Central" or whatever telling me what to think. Whether my positions end up in places near somebody else's position is not something I think about very much when I form them. And when I state my position in print I generally have direct knowledge of or have verified that my source is considered reliable. If I can't do either of those things I try to qualify my remarks in some manner ("I believe", or some such prefacing notation). So when you go to put me in that box be aware that it is where YOU think I hang out, not where I actually do. Feel free to do so, just don't expect me to actually be in there if you look inside later. My only comment on your piece is that it is entirely "Fact-Free", so you ought to put a "Pre-Comment" that it is "Non-Factening". Some people actually think a "Fact Free" intellectual regimen is good for them and they will want to dine on your fare. On a less serious note - Royce, here, try "alliteratively literative, licentious libertines, with their cold-blooded lizard-like logic languidly laying low near the bushes, ready to cruelly and heartlessly lash out at those poor defenseless creatures. Hmmm...or is that a bit too much???
Royce Miller - August 17, 2004 - Report this comment
Paul, I like "licentious libertines", and laying low near the bushes is good, too--
Paul Robinson - August 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Royce...always delightful to lend a little light-hearted alliteration to the mix...I guess that was a sort of a "cafeteria" menu length list, wasn't it?
King Snake - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Interesting choice of obscure songs you use to promote right wing views, that of a 19th century politician. Got feet of Clay?

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