On a private flight
To escape from sight,
A burly mayor sat drinking.
“Who’d shoot video
Here in Chicago?”
It could get a guy to thinking.

This song he sang
As he dreamed he’d hang
In a land with no detection,
Where a mayor’s rants get a second chance,
Then go home for the Election.

“Oh-ohhhhhhhhh!
The buzzing in my brain
Pass that bottle once again
Soon we’re going to show those cynics.
It’s so easy to fly straight
I'll get fit and lose some weight
At the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.”

“In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic
They’ve ashtrays if you smoke.
Staff will be compassionate
When you step outside to toke.”

“The landscaped grounds are lush with flowers,
With surveillance cameras blind.
No reporters spy,
You can still get high,
You can smoke some crack
On the pond out back
In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Some workout in the gym,
Go to chapel, sing a hymn,
They'll serve coffee like Tim Horton.
Guess the coke has got to go
Like my town, Etobicoke,
No more pics of pipes or snortin’.”

“In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic
You shouldn’t pass a roach,
There’s quite a few big-screen TVs
And the waiters call you Coach.”

"When there’s a Big Game on the air,
They postpone Group Therapy.
In your room there’re snacks,
With no charge or tax;
So you’re in control
And not on the dole
In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Some workout in the gym,
Go to chapel, sing a hymn,
Double-double chez Tim Horton.
Guess the coke should really go
Like my town, Etobicoke,
No more shots of pipes or snortin’.”

“In the Big Rob Rehab Clinic
You text or yack ad lib,
They don’t approve the one ‘Big Lie’,
But there’s lots of little fibs.”

“I know that ‘More Responsible’ ’s
An option to select - at
A later date.
Make Ford Nation wait?
They need spending pruned
And more subways soon
- Maybe, once I’m re-elected.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhh!
The buzzing in my brain
Pass that bottle once again
Soon we’ll finger-sign those critics.
I’ll lose weight, even get thin,
I'm so eager to get in
To the Big Rob Rehab Clinic.
The Big Rob Rehab Clinic.”