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Song Parodies -> "Cold, Cold Butt"

Original Song Title:

"Cold, Cold Heart"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Hank Williams

Parody Song Title:

"Cold, Cold Butt"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Your thighs: cold lard. Your rear: snow cones.
They hold no trace of heat.
Poor circulation makes your buttocks
Feel like frozen meat.
When I suggest hot oil massage,
All you can say is "What?!?"
I can't unfreeze your proud behind
Or melt your cold, cold butt.

I've purchased tons of home-care stuff,
Just let me name a few:
Electric socks and sheepskin panties,
Gave them all to you.
Still ev'ry Christmas you're upset,
My gifts don't make the cut.
Why can't I heat your proud behind
And melt your cold, cold butt?

I microwave your pillow, dear.
The blanket's turned to "High."
Our thermostat is set at 80.
You complain and cry.
My Latin blood enflames me so
My question may sound crass.
Why can't I heat your proud behind
And melt your ice-cold ass?

I'll boil another pot of tea
And fetch the lava rocks.
I'll cover them with thin asbestos,
Drop them in your socks.
If this is what will thaw your rump
I'm glad to do my part.
I've lit the propane blowtorch, dear,
But, damn you, don't dare fart.

©Bob Gomez 2005

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

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Billy Boyd - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny parody. All 5's...and happy Thanksgiving.
Peter Andersson - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment
‘Tis the day I have to judge from covers, but doing so from what looks to be a band called Add I’d say this is hot stuff, hence my thermostat’s at 555.
Red Ant - November 24, 2005 - Report this comment
My favorite of the day.
alvin rhodes - November 25, 2005 - Report this comment
masterpiece...5s plus
Bob Gomez - November 25, 2005 - Report this comment
Billy, Peter, Red and alvin: thanks and a happy holiday to you. I had fun writing this, and a bonus is that my wife actually liked it.

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