You couldn't read a letter if I wrote you
You never learned to dial the telephone
When there's something I'm wanting to tell you
I have to scream it in your ear, here at home

I didn't know God made idiot angels
I don't know why I took you for a wife
Your hair's brown, but it was blonde when I first met you
You were born on The Dumb Side Of Life

I should have learned from those days back in grade school
How you proudly wore that cone hat that said, "Dunce"
Last year when the doctor called, to say you're pregnant
You kept watchin' for the stork, the whole nine months..

I didn't know God made idiot angels
You get mad when the peas roll off your knife
Your hair's brown, but it was blonde when I first met you
You were born on The Dumb Side Of Life

You run across the street when it says, "Don't Walk"
And sew the button holes up in your blouse
When you heard that folk song, "Get A Long Home, Cindy"
You wanted me to buy a trailer house..

I didn't know God made idiot angels
You claim you're not a spouse, you're just a wife
Your hair's brown, but it was blonde when I first met you
You were born on The Dumb Side Of Life..

Yes, you were born on The Dumb Side Of Life