“Your semi-automatics stink;
I want to throw them in the drink.”
Whatever I say, I’m offensive.
In any words straightforward or declensive,
I’m offensive.

“Though ‘Mussolini’ has no rhyme,
He made the choo-choos run on time.”
Whatever I say, I’m offensive.
My malaprops are fully comprehensive;
I’m offensive.

I offend a lot.
I don’t really give a damn; I offend a lot.

(chorus) He offends a lot.
In fact, indeed, he doesn’t care a jot.

“I’m happy that Obama’s back;
I voted for him ‘cause he’s black.”
However I vote, I’m offensive.
This inclination makes you apprehensive.
I’m offensive.

“Inscrutably, I make jihad
So Allah will be your one God.”
Whatever I say, I’m offensive.
And I refuse to go on the defensive;
I’m offensive!