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Song Parodies -> "Space Nurse (The Plight of a Raumjaeger)"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Greenpeace Song

Parody Song Title:

"Space Nurse (The Plight of a Raumjaeger)"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

I based this theme on a female German space robot being developed for the ISS. She is Barbie-like, sexless but with a formed top with plans to make her look blonde and beautiful with a textured synthetic skin and data processing. The wave form term is describing a new German apparatus that eliminates the perception of pain through jamming of pain receptors with no need of opiate drugs to put one under. In spaceflight, future German operators will need to be awake even during physical injuries to talk to the computers flying their craft (EADS Study). What craft? Transatmospherics and LEO craft. Sanger is still active and Dornier has expressed interest in future spacecraft.
Space nurse
Looking after me
No up-skirt
Zero gravity

Temperature rise
Gotta hold on me
She’s alert
Like a lone sentry

She takes care of me

Space nurse
Looking after me
No down-shirt
Zero gravity

Naked, held in place
Suction phlebotomy
It won’t hurt
Wave forms- pain free

OPs gone, I’m drug-free

Alabaster skin
Eyes that see through me
Strange textured hands
Perform surgery

Space nurse
Looking after me
No ass grabs
Zero gravity

She’s a robot- not a human being
Unto her I still cling
Not a woman
But the next best thing!!!

Space nurse
Looking after me
Zero gravity
Zero gravity

I’ve got an erection
She has no empathy
Nor sympathy
Just data processing

Woe is me!!!
OPs= Opiates. Also "Raumjaeger" existed before Astronaut, Cosmonaut, or Taikonaut. Started in 1940s with Draeger Werke spacesuits for the proposed Sanger Silbervogel and supposedly for German disc craft (Flugscheiben). Soviets got their designs off the Germans and the 1942 suit is in the German Museum. "Raumjaeger" is an SS military term for literally "Space Hunter!!!" Junkers also postwar proposed the RT-8 STS that was denied in the 1960s but led to the X-20 Dynasoar and then the US Space Shuttle. FYI

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   6
 2   1
 3   0
 4   0
 5   25

User Comments

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Rob Arndt - August 01, 2013 - Report this comment
AILA in prototype female generic functional state w/o flesh-over and mech mods...
Lifeliver - August 01, 2013 - Report this comment
This is the kind of unique offbeat-miltech thing you do best, ditto 'Gunsmiths', substantial and informative. It was even funny - I laughed at the 'upskirt' line. If you submitted a couple of parodies like this each week (as you do) instead of the interminable 9-line 'base songs', as you call them, containing regurgitated rather than satirized news, simply to boost your stats, you wouldn't get those negative comments and anonymous attacks. And you know why they are anonymous! You're a pretty active sniper yourself.

I don't get it with you. If you produce a million parodies before you die, what have you achieved? And do you seriously expect anybody to wade through your 2,000 plus pieces for hidden gems?

I have dozens of ideas and drafts on file that I wouldn't submit here because they are not good enough or not ready, or simply not suitable. In just on a year, I've produced 82 parodies. I could easily dump another 18 here this week just to get my stats up to 100 in a year, but I don't think that would be fair to the readers. To put it bluntly, I have no interest in using this community site as a personal toilet for my literary diarrhoea.

I visited this parody just a few minutes after it was posted and it already had 2 sets of gratuitous 555s. Your supporters sure act fast. Don't tell me you vote on your own parodies? Somebody one-bombed you. Read my words. IT WASN'T ME. It never is.
Mr. Roboto - August 02, 2013 - Report this comment
Didn't this female robot thing come from Germany anyway? Who remembers the science fiction classic "Metropolis?" Would be exciting to see something like that come to life rather than Stratton's overtly sexual Galaxina! I don't know why anyone would bomb this parody. Anthing about space & robots is cool!
Rob Arndt - August 03, 2013 - Report this comment
So, from fake Jamaican to S Central hood rat and puppet commentator, eh? How pathetic. I know you THINK you are funny, but you are nothing more than a jive-talking non-participant here. If you are a parodist then post your real name and your author sheet for "comparison." If not then go crawl back under your rock. You are nothing to me but a stick insect to be crushed under a jackboot. Your verbal assaults at full frontal are weak. No dent in my armor. I suggest you run along and watch "Cool Runnings" a few more times before your next reported post for trolling. Oh, and I wouldn't be surprised if you were a vet yourself playing games and 1-bombing. Regardless, what comes around goes around buddy. And YOU with an AK???- THAT MADE ME LOL to the Nth degree!!! Did you know that US and European Military Journals do not even count African armies as anything except for Egypt to the North and RSA to the South. The former is a mix of peoples from Asia, Africa, and Europe that buys US now while the latter is a White Euro founded and African labor used split society. But its military forces are based on Euro tech and indigenous solutions to the Bush country. Had a lot of Rhodesians switch too. And Jamaica is a joke of a nation in every way possible. Bad selections for your black face farce. Try again and fail again, miserably :)
Rob Arndt - August 03, 2013 - Report this comment
MR, yes Germany was inspired by several sci-fi flicks of the pre-Nazi era. This led to books written about Raumflug (Spaceflight) as well as designs for elaborate circular spacestations (Oberth, Noordung... THEN eventually von Braun at Hitler's request)! Rocketeers formed societies in Germany for postal rockets and other research that led to Peenemunde and to a lesser extent research on Misdroy with cruise missiles (the V-1 was at Peenemunde on the LW side along with the Me-163). The V-2 and larger rockets envisioned A-9 thru A-12 are perhaps the best representation of where sci-fi cinematic pleasure becomes reality- first, as a weapon of war and then peaceful space exploration. First pics of earth taken postwar by captured V-2 with payload section (instrumentation). First ICBMs were of German origin (A-9/A-10) which led to postwar Soviet and US designs (along with interceptor rockets) that led to the Saturn V and man on the moon by '69. That was von Braun's baby in the US. He was a SS Capt, technically but never faced warcrime charges along with his other fellow rocket scients and even the Dachau "space medicine" doctors- all were paid and became US citizens due to the tech involved. The Soviets got the rest and it is a myth to say they got the lesser scientists. Russia was first to put up satellites (German origin), first used spacesuits (German origin), first dog, man, woman, and spacewalk in history, and first real spacestation not Skylab. Even their multi-engine rocket designs came from Peenemunde and it is Russia that is still taking astronauts to the ISS and making deliveries, the shuttle (based on the Junkers RT-08) gone. All of this says alot about German rocketry and that came about by inspiration of sci-fi films. As for German robots, most are military prototypes but AILA and others autonomous types are being studied for use in space. The spider types are creepy but can fit into spaces human hands and bodies cannot go- they are derived from sewer robots that unclog pipes!!!
Patrick - August 03, 2013 - Report this comment
I recall reading about a US experiment to deliver mail by rocket. Imagine a disgruntled employee going "postal" with an "ICPM". I thought bogus "Blackface" minstrelsy went out of style with Al Jolson.
Rob Arndt - August 03, 2013 - Report this comment
Patrick, the VfR tried several unsucessful postal rocket launches. There were actually blackpowder rockets used in WW1 for leaflet deliveries and believe it or not Oberth proposed artillery rockets in WW1. His ideas and drawings (looking very much like old finned rocketships) were rejected as "impractical!" Imagine if Germany bombarded trenches and cities with rockets in WW1. They also could have had jet biplanes based on Coanda's work. At least 1 German eccentric tried to build one, but failed.
Rob Arndt - August 04, 2013 - Report this comment
I just saw a movie from 1970 about a White bigot that was turned Black ("Watermelon Man")! But in that film, the actor was already Black and covered in White make-up, so his transformation was simply removing the make-up! How far we've come! And then there was that movie "Soul Man" that starred some famous youth (Howe?). In that '80s or '90s film the transformation was again by make-up and the transition intentional through use of tanning pills to get minority admission to an Ivy-League school. Yet puppet-playing in "Blackface" online is insulting to to all races and a sign of willful ignorance IMHO. Sad, really, to sink to that level to harass anyone.

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