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Song Parodies -> "Series 4000 Mechanoid"

Original Song Title:

"Modern Major-General"

Original Performer:

Gillbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"Series 4000 Mechanoid"

Parody Written by:

Two-Faced Goblin

The Lyrics

If you've never seen the British sci-fi comedy RED DWARF, this will make absolutely no sense to you. If you have, this is all about Kryten, the service mechanoid aboard the DWARF. If you know your stuff, you'll probably find a heap of references to the show here.
I am the very model of a Series 4000 mechanoid
Though this situation is making me almost annoyed
I started as the service droid aboard a ship called Nova 5
It crashed, and eventually I realised the crew were no longer alive

Mister Lister taught me to rebel, and even his space bike he lent
I crashed that too, and was rebuilt, but with a rather different accent
I've met many new life-forms since coming aboard the Red Dwarf
Like gelfs and psirens, felis sapiens and the polymorph

Crew: Like gelfs and psirens, felis sapiens and the polymorph
Like gelfs and psirens, felis sapiens and the polymorph
Like gelfs and psirens, felis sapiens and the poly-polymorph

Thanks to Mister Lister, I've now mastered several emotions
But my attempt at ambivalence looks like a dog with strange jaw motions
In short, this situation is making me almost annoyed
I am the very model of a Series 4000 mechanoid

Crew: In short, this situation is making him almost annoyed
He is the very model of a Series 4000 mechanoid

I know the difference between a time hole and a space mirage
I can even park Starbug just like it was in a garage
I quote the Space Corps directives with unerring accuracy
To the annoyance of Mister Rimmer, who really is a "smee-heeee'!

I can create a time portal from developing fluid and filmstrip
I know the human value commonly known as "friendship'
It's my belief in Silicon Heaven that lets me serve my masters so
Of course it's real, or else where would all the calculators go?

Crew: Of course it's real, or else where would all the calculators go?
Of course it's real, or else where would all the calculators go?
Of course it's real, or else where would all the calcu-calculators go?

Then I can do the washing and hammer Mister Lister's underpants
And tell you ev'ry detail of his ev'ry attempt at romance
In short, this situation is making me almost annoyed
I am the very model of a Series 4000 mechanoid

Crew: In short, this situation is making him almost annoyed
He is the very model of a Series 4000 mechanoid

In fact, when I have felt the sting of losing my one love, Camille
When despair squids make it difficult to determine what's real
When such affairs as backwards worlds and white holes are over and done
And when I'm voted by my spare heads as "the big-eared ugly one'

When I'm afraid of Miss Kochanski stealing away Mister Lister
When certain members of the crew want brown ketchup with their lobster
In short, with what I've dealt with since coming here from Nova 5
You'll say a better mechanoid has never blown his nega-drive

Crew: You'll say a better mechanoid has never blown his nega-drive
You'll say a better mechanoid has never blown his nega-drive
You'll say a better mechanoid has never blown his nega-nega-drive

For even though Mister Lister says I've grown beyond a joke
The Red Dwarf prison system can't even classify me as a bloke
But still, this situation has me getting almost annoyed
I am the very model of a Series 4000 mechanoid

Crew: But still, this situation has him getting almost annoyed
He is the very model of a Series 4000 mechanoid
RED DWARF is (C) Grant Naylor Productions. I wouldn't dream of saying I own it.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   0
 1
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User Comments

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Phil Alexander - January 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Pacing's a bit strained, but love the idea... funnily enough, my submission today had its lyrics written by Grant and Naylor. Coincidence?

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