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Song Parodies -> "I've Got A Little List"
Original Song Title:
"I've Got A Little List from 'The Mikado'"
Original Performer:
Gilbert & Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"I've Got A Little List"
Parody Written by:
Chris Hampton
The Lyrics
As someday it may happen that a victim must be found
I've got a little list; I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--they never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs--
All children who won't speak without a Walkman on their head
But can E-mail, text and download without getting out of bed!
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
They'd none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed!
CHORUS: He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed.
There's the beggars who write letters from the Inland Revenue
And the gossip columnist, I've got him on the list
Fake Rock bands, those "Pop Idols" and that Simon Cowell too,
They never would be missed--they never would be missed!
Or waitresses who make you wait and lawyers of all kinds
And actresses who kiss & tell and wiggle their behinds
And poncy little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up as women and then singing far too high;
And the TV advertisers who just never will desist--
I don't think they'd be missed--I've got them on the list!
CHORUS: He's got "em on the list--he's got "em on the list;
And I don't think they'd be missed--I'm sure they'd not be missed!
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist - Lord Hutton's on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as--What d'ye call him--Thing'em-bob, and likewise--Nevermind,
And 'St--'st--'st--and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who--
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you. (Where Do You Begin?!)
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
CHORUS: You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!
I've got a little list; I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--they never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs--
All children who won't speak without a Walkman on their head
But can E-mail, text and download without getting out of bed!
And customs men who fumbling through your underwear insist
They'd none of them be missed, they'll none of them be missed!
CHORUS: He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed.
There's the beggars who write letters from the Inland Revenue
And the gossip columnist, I've got him on the list
Fake Rock bands, those "Pop Idols" and that Simon Cowell too,
They never would be missed--they never would be missed!
Or waitresses who make you wait and lawyers of all kinds
And actresses who kiss & tell and wiggle their behinds
And poncy little singers who to entertain us try
By dressing up as women and then singing far too high;
And the TV advertisers who just never will desist--
I don't think they'd be missed--I've got them on the list!
CHORUS: He's got "em on the list--he's got "em on the list;
And I don't think they'd be missed--I'm sure they'd not be missed!
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist - Lord Hutton's on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life--
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as--What d'ye call him--Thing'em-bob, and likewise--Nevermind,
And 'St--'st--'st--and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who--
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you. (Where Do You Begin?!)
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!
CHORUS: You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!
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User Comments
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Interesting modern take, Chris. I have seen a couple productions of The Mikado where they change some of the verses of this song into more modern refs, too. You could have changed a lot more of the words to make it even more relevant. And there was many non-US references---I know what Inland Revenue is, but who is Nisi Prius, and Lord Hutton?
"Nisi Prius nuisance" is straight from the original - I believe it's a legal term meaning the court in which a case is first heard... but I did like the Hutton reference: he's the Lord of Whitewash ;-) There's some super lines in this one (the children/walkman couplet being my favourites), but I'd agree that there's probably too many of the original lines in here...
...incidentally, I think I might have the only other parody so far of this song on amiright: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertandsullivanthemikado0.shtml
...incidentally, I think I might have the only other parody so far of this song on amiright: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertandsullivanthemikado0.shtml
Thank you for your comments. I know I used a lot of the original lines but unfortunately it was late at night and I ran out of ideas to use in the song.
I know another parody of this one... which, unfortunately, got my friend (who wrote it) kicked out of high school. The principal had neither heard of the Mikado nor Gilbert & Sullivan... shows the state of education these days!
The parts you actually added were good..... however, using a third of the original lyrics and a third of Eric Idle's adapted version does not make an original parody. You might at least want to try.
As far as I can see the only lines which have been changed are:
Walkman/Email - excellent
Simon Cowell - thoroughly deserved
Lord Hutton - hardly a humorist
The rest is either Gilbert's or from one of the ENO's Eric Idle-recorded versions. Six lines do not make an original parody. Why not have a go at changing more of it, and coming back and reposting?
Even if you only succeeded in getting it half done, that would be something. It would be taken as an earnest of your desire to comply with the Imperial will.
I think your parody is very deft indeed. I'd like to ask you about singing it in public
steveross38@earthlink.net
thanks.
P.S. Are you English?
Actually, I believe the walkman and Hutton refs came from Thomas Allen's 'List' at the Last Night of the Proms in 2004... extra lyrics by Kit Heskith-Harvey!
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