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Song Parodies -> "Sarbanes-Oxley Song"

Original Song Title:

"Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"Sarbanes-Oxley Song"

Parody Written by:

Bob Konigsberg

The Lyrics

Syllables in all CAPITALS get stressed so as to match the meter of the original music. Likewise MS-NBC is changed to MSN-BC to change the stress to fit the music.
I'll sing to you a story of degenerate morality,
T'was prosecuted as a case of corp'rate criminality,
The miscreants attempted to dismiss as triviality
While stealing the life savings of those practicing frugality
What started as a farce to build up their profitability,
Became a mass of scheming that would end the full duplicity,
Of various executives who hid from the publicity.
The tales THEY told exCEEded creDUlous elasTICity
A number of these cases are of companies A-merican,
But co-conspirators were both Jamaican and the Anglican,
Politically they stretched from Democratic to Republican,
And would have earned the scorn of all the brothers in the Vatican.

I've seen the very model of a WorldCom executive,
Defrauding all his customers and almost was a fugitive,
He juggled books and profits so as to increase his equity,
And when it came to cheating, he was known for perspicacity
His name was Bernard Ebbers and he really was the CEO,
I saw him when arrested on MSN-BC video,
And when he was arraigned as you expect he pled not guilty-o
A paragon of virtue we'd just have to say that it ain't so.
So now MCI telecom has risen from that debacle,
And those who held their stock have viewed it almost as a miracle,
Poor folks who lost their fortunes now just glare upon the spectacle,
And doubt that many others will escape evil's long tentacle

Mis-treated Enron employees did sue for their retirement,
Since Mulgrew, Darby, Bermingham invested in things fraudulent
The moneys that they meant to raise were headed for the Cayman Isles,
The National Westminster Bank the origin of those nasty wiles,
That led to the indictment and prosecution of those Texas trials
Which came about because they failed most thoroughly to shred the files,
The SEC began to implicate L.L.C. Anderson,
Be-cause of all the fine work done by the Grand Jury IN Houston.
Sarbanes and Oxley looked at these disasters as too typical,
From Global Crossing and Adelphia's failures hysterical,
And though the prose they wrote is not regarded here as lyrical,
Unfortunately their new law will not make us less cynical.
Historical notes: Sarbanes-Oxley is a U.S. Federal law dealing with accurate financial disclosures for corporations. All companies, organizations, and people's names were gathered from formal federal and state indictments, which led to convictions. And yes, if I took the time to read them to research this song, I probably don't have a life.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   0
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 3   1
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 4   2
 0
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 5   7
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Jenkins - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Well rhymed, well researched, and well constructed, Bob. And I commend you for not taking the obvious cheap shots at Kenneth Lay and Andrew Fastow.
Mary Taggart - November 27, 2004 - Report this comment
This is just marvellous! I'm an MBA student currently taking a course in Fraud and Forensic Accounting. I have to show this to my classmates! Very, very good.
Rick D - December 03, 2004 - Report this comment
To show you how warped minds think alike. Mari and I were all prepared to perform "Media Celebrity" at our favorite coffeehouse, and Bob here went up before us and did this parody....to the same song! (We could have strangled him, but he's actually a nice guy)
Leo Jay - April 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Great job. MInor pacing hiccup on the first line of the second verse, but 555.
Bob Konigsberg - June 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Note to anyone reading this - I perform the song publicly every time that one of the people mentioned in the song goes to prison. I have performed it twice in 2008 (so far). Justice moves slowly indeed!

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