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Song Parodies -> "Model of a Doctor Holographical"

Original Song Title:

"Model of a Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"Model of a Doctor Holographical"

Parody Written by:

Heather Leonard

The Lyrics

As sung by The Doctor from Star Trek: Voyager
I am the very model of a doctor holographical.
I’ve information ethical and tactical and medical.
I’ve treated sentient beings in my voyages galactical
From Bolian to Vidiian, in order alphabetical.

I’m very well acquainted, too, with processes authorical.
My novel was terrific, though my friends they were quite skeptical.
My agent let the story out and Janeway, she was really pissed.
They said I am not sentient but I have the rights of an artist.

They said he was not sentient but he has the rights of an artist.
They said he was not sentient but he has the rights of an artist.
They said he was not sentient but he has the rights of an artist.

I sometimes have the power to ignore the captain’s countermands.
And if the crew’s in trouble then I’ll take emergency command.
In short, in matters ethical, and tactical, and medical,
I am the very model of a doctor holographical.

In short, in matters ethical, and tactical, and medical,
He is the very model of a doctor holographical.

In the social graces I instructed dear Seven of Nine.
Of her, I have deep feelings and I know that she is my sunshine.
My offers sometimes go ignored, but I think they are really great.
(It might just be my tendency to excesi’vly pontificate.)

If you state the nature of the medical emergency
The EMH will help you (not forgetting models Two and Three)
I often can be pompous and my antics sometimes do annoy
On more than one occasion, I have imitated Doc McCoy.

On more than one occasion, he has imitated Doc McCoy.
On more than one occasion, he has imitated Doc McCoy.
On more than one occasion, he has imitated Doc McCoy.

I dressed up like a priest and served the villagers of Fair Haven.
I beamed across the galaxy to save old Doctor Zimmerman.
In short, in matters ethical, and tactical, and medical,
I am the very model of a doctor holographical.

In short, in matters ethical, and tactical, and medical,
He is the very model of a doctor holographical.

In fact, I can sing opera flamboyantly with great gusto.
I dreamed of stopping Tuvok while ad-libbing Verdi’s Rig’letto.
I hid in Seven’s body and ingested too much drink and food.
And fantasized of painting her while she posed for me, nearly nude.

I learned about bereavement when my holographic daughter died.
I held my wife and teenage son and we all grieved by her bedside.
I serve the Federation and I loyally do all I can
I aided the Mark 2 and saved their starship from the Romulans.

He aided the Mark 2 and saved their starship from the Romulans.
He aided the Mark 2 and saved their starship from the Romulans.
He aided the Mark 2 and saved their starship from the Romulans.

Through all the years I traveled, I surpassed my capabilities
And proved to my creator of my many versatilities.
But still, in matters ethical, and tactical, and medical,
I am the very model of a doctor holographical.

But still, in matters ethical, and tactical, and medical,
He is the very model of a doctor holographical.
Copyright 2008 Heather Leonard View the original parody

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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Tim Mayfield - July 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Although I got lost half way through And I am not a Star Trek dude I will not count those things 'gainst you I'll vote 5s cause I'm not prude In matters Federational You seem rather exceptional So take these 5s You can not hide Besides this ditties rather good!
Peter Andersson - July 22, 2008 - Report this comment
I'll second that.
Peregrin - July 22, 2008 - Report this comment
An excellent and accurate voyage through Voyager's EMH! Well done :)
Red Ant - July 25, 2008 - Report this comment
This was quite good, Heather - I've seen enough of Voyager to get most of the references in the parody. "(It might just be my tendency to excesi’vly pontificate.)" was my favorite line.
Tim Mayfield - July 26, 2008 - Report this comment
My wife is a Star Trekkin' Fan
Just hit me with a fryin' pan
I guess my comments should be banned
She says your lyrics are just grand!

For series astronomical
And doctors with out follicles
This story told
Where men are bold
Should not go in the garbage can
Michael Pacholek - September 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Logical.
David Wilkins - October 21, 2023 - Report this comment
I hope that Mr. Picardo sees this and performs it.
Rand - October 21, 2023 - Report this comment
Brilliant!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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