I am the very model of an angry men's rights activist
An enemy of any one who claims to be a feminist
I've grievances to share about the world and its inequity
And if you have a forum I'll insist that you should hear from me
I'll prattle about lifespans and statistical disparity
and dirty jobs and how a female presence there's a rarity
I'll flame a mom who stays at home and doesn't help to pay the bills
At women's feet I'm pleased to place the blame for all my petty ills

From marriage I am on a strike until the law's turned upside-down
The reason is self-evident, my married fellows play the clown
My sperm I will incinerate, my partners I will never trust
Until the day I find a way to safely satiate my lust
On TV our portrayals are insulting and unflattering
The jokes they make are hard to take and just as bad as battering
And so I say that women all are wholly my antagonists
I am the very model of an angry men's rights activist

If only I could find a date, who's ready to pick up the tab
If only I could find a mate, who's willing to admire my flab
If only she would get a job, sufficient to pay all our bills
If only she were wealthy, and would add me promptly to her will
If only she would bear my child, and leave me home to care for it
If only she would beat me up, and have to go to jail for it
If only she would leave me, and be forced to pay me child support
Would I still whine and take the line that men just take it in the shorts?

Until that day I'm here to stay and bore you with my snivelling
My activism takes the form of on-line flames and drivelling
I'd rather gripe on forums than contribute to a charity
I'll not a dime contribute 'til there's total funding parity
Though women I will castigate, and heap with much unflattery
My expectations are that they should be the ones to act for me
Though I may seem at times to be a thinly veiled misogynist
I am the very model of an angry men's rights activist