Say have you ever wondered what this silly song is all about
This epic wordy anthem that causes most good parodists to pout
It’s harder to keep pace to than to songs by Kansas or No Doubt
“Give it up, it’s Waterloo, I got no ideas, hit a drought”

So when I had decided, too, to try this fast paced canticle
I understood I had to take and make it all my spectacle
And fuss not over repetitions, I could do whate’er I choose
After all, it worked so well in “Blinded By The Light” by Bruce

(Readers:)
After all it worked so well in Blinded By The Light by Bruce
After all it worked so well in Blinded By The Light by Bruce
Not originally by Manfred Mann but it was first by Bruce!

I’ll keep the pacing crucial ‘cause that usually works best for us
And think about the rhyme scheme but try not to be ridiculous
And try to keep the tediousness absolutely minimal
This will be my remodel of the Modern Major General

(Readers:)
He’ll try to keep the tediousness absolutely minimal
When he presents remodel of the Modern Major General

Now Gilbert wrote the words you see, for that he should be put in stocks
If he were alive of course, the corpse right now would really smell like lox
You may feel my sense of humor is now really somewhat nebulous
Well, gee, I never understood the yuks in “Absolutely Fabulous”
I get some laughs from Norton’s “Ralphie Boy!” and in the pause of Jack Benny’s
And in the animated genius of Walt Disney’s Silly Symphonies
Now I add a line or two that will repeat just what we had before
And make ‘em laugh and learn just what the holy hell is “meta-“ for

(Readers:)
And make ‘em laugh and learn just what the holy hell is “meta-“ for
And make ‘em laugh and learn just what the holy hell is “meta-“ for
And make ‘em laugh and learn just what the meta fiction is so clichéd for

Now I will add more non sequiturs and other stuff I’m uninformed
Or maybe add a hotlink to my old song "Seniors In the Dorm"
And once again I’m counting off of each and ev’ry syllable
While doing my remodel of the Modern Major General

(Readers:)
Once again he’s counting off of each and ev’ry syllable
While doing his remodel of the Modern Major General

Now for some reason this next verse was the highest in difficulty
I couldn’t think of what to do to make the rhyme origin’lly!
Folks won’t mind, I guess, to the syllables I stress like that
And yet I’ll know precisely what they mean if they call me “silly prat!”

Now I look back on the progress made here on this smartass parody
I see that I there is half a verse, to finish there’s no guarantee!
Come on Ag, don’t give up now, you have got to use a strategy
I guess I could just end up with a simple stab at flattery

(Readers:)
He guesses that he could just wrap up with a simple stab at flattery
He guesses that he could just wrap up with a simple stab at flattery
He thinks that he could end this song by brown-nosing us all with some flattery!

Hey Stu, Hey Kris, Hey Spaff, and Hey to all you who came here before me
You are the leading writers of the interceding century
So ‘though when all is said and done my ideas ain’t original
This wraps up my remodel of the Modern Major General

(Readers:)
So ‘though when all is said and done his ideas ain’t original
This wraps up his remodel of the Modern Major General!