That Oscar Mayer's has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A
My mother used to pack my lunch with Oscar Mayer's every day
But to be frank, I will confess I think she had an evil plan
Now that I know the stuff inside had came out of a garbage can
Oh yes, it's true, this meat they sell is not exactly bologna
It's filled with quite disgusting things; its sale should be a felony
They sell a meat that's so unsafe that it requires a hazard sign
A by-product a fly won't touch, a slop that is unfit for swine

A by-product a fly won't touch, a slop that is unfit for swine
A by-product a fly won't touch, a slop that is unfit for swine
A by-product a fly won't touch; a slop that is unfit, unfit for swine!

I'm very sure that it is made with separated lizard parts
I know its saturated fat can not be measured on the charts
But damn, it's so delicious, and I guess that's why the children say
That Oscar Mayer's has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

Hot damn, it's so delicious, and we guess that's why the children say
That Oscar Mayer's has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

I made myself a promise that I would not touch it anymore
I swore a solemn oath because the meat is packed with filth galore
Like, did you know they get their hotdogs from road kill stuck to the tar
(Cause why else would they drive around inside that giant Weiner Car)
They fill stuff with preservatives, they seal it and they "keep it fresh"
Well, I can guarantee that after a week you'll have rotten flesh
And I will take this stance, and yes, I know that this sounds rather grim
But I would rather end my life by snapping into a Slim Jim

Yes, he would rather end his life by snapping into a Slim Jim
Yes, he would rather end his life by snapping into a Slim Jim
Yes, he would rather end his life by snapping into a slim, a Slim Jim

I know they make the skin by mixing plastic wrap and preschool paste
I know that it will knock me out, why would I even want a taste
But damn, it's so delicious, and I guess that's why the children say
That Oscar Mayer's has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

Hot damn, it's so delicious, and we guess that's why the children say
That Oscar Mayer's has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

Now that I'm old I think I have finally learned my mother's plot
She gave me Oscar Mayer because he just did not cost a lot
Now that I'm paying for my gas, I'll ignore the ingredients
(Because when I need lunch, I will admit, it is expedient)
This monumental shift that I have gone through will shock and amaze
If you ask me about their meat, you will hear me singing their praise
It's cheap and easy, fresh and tasty, American bologna
And now I know that you don't always get your meat from the deli

And now he knows that you don't always get your meat from the deli
And now he knows that you don't always get your meat from the deli
And now he knows that you don't always get your meat from the local deli

So the next time you're with your children at the local grocery store
Be sure to pick up their products before you walk out of that door
Because it's so delicious, and I love to eat it every day
Yes, Oscar Mayer's has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

Hot damn, it's so delicious, and we love to eat it every day
Cause Oscar Mayer's has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A