I Am the Very Model of a Modern Ward-Based Pharmacist
I am the very model of a modern ward-based pharmacist
I've information medical, with which I make the doctors pissed
I know the dose of ramipril, losartan and omeprazole
I like to write on drug charts with an irritating bright green scrawl
I'm very well acquainted too with matters pharmaceutical
I understand the indications, side effects and use of all
The contents of the British National Formulary I can quote
But I prefer to wind up docs by writing on a post-it note

He prefers to wind up docs by writing on a post-it note
He prefers to wind up docs by writing on a post-it note
He prefers to wind up docs by writing on a post-it post-it note

I'm very good at sending back erroneous prescription charts
I'm also rather adept at annihilating young upstarts
I'm an anally retentive, egocentrical apothecarist
I am the very model of a modern ward-based pharmacist
He's an anally retentive, egocentrical apothecarist
He is the very model of a modern ward-based pharmacist

I know anticholinergics, analgesics and barbiturates
Antacids I regurgitate, and laxatives I defaecate
Antihypertensives and trinitrates are not new to me
And topical acyclovir for student nurse immunity
Interractions and toxicities are well within my boundary
Contraindications have not knowingly confounded me
I recite the latest drugs and therapeutics bulletin
I am proud of my A4-sized folder that I put it in

He is proud of his A4-sized folder that he puts it in
He is proud of his A4-sized folder that he puts it in
He is proud of his A4-sized folder that he puts it puts it in

I can write the structure of all pills in alphanumeric
And conjugate the elements in latin, greek and arabic
I'm an anally retentive, egocentrical apothecarist
I am the very model of a modern ward-based pharmacist
He's an anally retentive, egocentrical apothecarist
He is the very model of a modern ward-based pharmacist

Procyclidine and melphalan and high-dose hydrocortisone
Flomax, Narcan, frumil, aspirin, cefaclor and tibolone
Phenytoin, Epilim, salbutamol, goserelin
Calcitonin, methadone, olanzipine and prazosin
Isoniazid, emla, bupivicaine, Zoton, senna
Doxycycline, ichthammol, arachis oil enema
Flumazanil, cimetidine, atenolol, dilcardia
And I keep a close watch on stocks of all the wards' Viagara

And he keeps a close watch on stocks of all the wards' Viagara
And he keeps a close watch on stocks of all the wards' Viagara
And he keeps a close watch on stocks of all the wards' Via- Viagara

I don't want to be a doctor though I could have I am bright enough
But I have far more fun by making doctors' lives a bit more tough
I'm an anally retentive, egocentrical apothecarist
I am the very model of a modern ward-based pharmacist
He's an anally retentive, egocentrical apothecarist
He is the very model of a modern ward-based pharmacist