I am the very model of a member of Trump's cabinet
Abusing public service to find how much richer can I get.
If called to testify I've never broken into a cold sweat

I just respond to questions with the old refrain of “I forget”.


Remember when I would harangue o'er excess in the public debt?

My time's now occupied denying charges brought by some brunette.

Sometimes I have to lie about our nation’s chief executive

Especially when I’ve called him an unflatt'ring expletive.

ALL:
Especially when calling him some unflatt'ring expletive.
Especially when calling him an appaling expletive,
Especially when calling him a vile, coarse expletive.

Adept at hiding from the press whenever Donnie's vile remarks
Engender worldwide outrage from all nations' PMs and monarchs;
I'd happily snuff wildlife such would fill up half a million arks
And install drilling rigs in each and ev'ry of the nation's Parks.

I never utter a harsh word 'bout Vlad or Russian oligarchs
And pay my bills at Trump's hotel in bitcoins or in Deutsche Marks.
I gotta be so careful now of old pals' photo albums which
Might show me at some shindig with Jeff Epstein or with Dershowitz.

ALL:
It would be bad to find me with Jeff Epstein or with Dershowitz,
It would be bad to find me with Jeff Epstein or with Dershowitz,
Please god don't let them find me hanging with Epstein or Dershowitz!

But now I'm forced to listen to my lawyer's dull tutorial
On why, in law, my Ukraine acts are found conspiratorial
And just because my motives have been seen by some as less-than-pure
I'll likely face impeachment from my governmental sinecure.

By measuring my competence you'll find that I'm inadequate
I am the very model of a member of Trump's cabinet.