A wee vegetarian sat eating her meal
It was nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets
And I said to her, honey, say how would you feel
'f they weren't nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets

Well, would you be surprised, yes would you give a fig
'Cause they're just the right size, they're exactly that big
As if they'd been made out of the testes of pigs
Not nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets


She looked up at me and said "what do you mean
About nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets?
Test-tickles of piggies - that would be obscene
Not nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets

Then she screwed up her nose, and her face it went puce
With her hands to her mouth, she ran off to the loos
And I looked on her plate and saw hairs sticking oot
Of nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets


I sat down in her chair, and I picked up her fork
Yummy! Nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets
Well, "waste not, want not" is just what I thought
For nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets

I thought her behaviour a little bit wierd
For those hairs on her plate were not piggy ones, sheared
They were ones that I'd cunningly pulled from my beard
Stuck on nuggets, quorn nuggets, quorn nuggets