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Song Parodies -> "A Techie's Lot"

Original Song Title:

"A Policeman's Lot"

Parody Song Title:

"A Techie's Lot"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

When a user's not engaged in his employment (his employment)
He likes to go a browsing on the net (on the net)
Downloading lots of things for his enjoyment (his enjoyment)
I wonder just which viruses he'll get (bugs he'll get)
He calls to say his PC keeps on freezing (keeps on freezing)
And swears it isn't anything he's done (thing he's done)
The excuses they will use beyond believing (beyond believing)
No, a techie's lot is not a happy one (Aaaaah)
With virus-cleaning duties to be done, to be done
No, a techie's lot is not a happy one (happy one)

When a user calls to say their PC's broken (PC's broken)
The screen is black 'cause there's a power cut (power cut)
You know they're much too thick to own a 'puter (a computer)
It's very hard to keep your mouth tight shut (keep it shut)
When a user says she's got a broken cup-tray (broken cup-tray)
It turns out that she means the CD-ROM (CD-ROM)
And they think their PC's so ****ed up they (so ****ed up they)
Know a techie's lot is not a happy one (Aaaaah)
With technical supporting to be done, to be done
No, a techie's lot is not a happy one (happy one)

When the phone rings for an element'ry blunder ('ment'ry blunder)
When the problem that's described is quite absurd (quite absurd)
And it's happened twice before - so it's no wonder (it's no wonder)
That "USER" is a bad four-letter word (letter word)
And the error's nowhere near what they're reporting (they're reporting)
It makes you wish you're carrying a gun (-ing a gun)
And to all the idiots that we're supporting (we're supporting):
A techie's lot is not a happy one (Aaaaah)
With user-interfacing to be done, to be done
No, a techie's lot is not a happy one (happy one)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 34

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   8
 5   25

User Comments

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Larry - April 11, 2003 - Report this comment
I liked it,laughed at it. My dad would like this one,as he would sometimes just tell me about the pirates of panzeance when i was a kid,and so i am going to pass this ditty of yours on to him
Phil Alexander - April 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, Larry - I have a few more G&S parodies, if your dad enjoys this one (if you search for "Gilbert and Sullivan", they should show up) - you could be only the second person to vote on my "Duke of Plaza-Toro" parody ;-)
Thunderbolt - April 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Were you the one that recently did a parody of the Major General song?
Stray Pooch - April 12, 2003 - Report this comment
Well done. Gilbert & Sullivan, eh? Nice to see some class in da joint! The thing about G&S is that their songs are usually so funny that to parody them is almost overkill!!! LOL. IN fact, that is why I consider "The Pirate Movie" to be a very bad joke. Much rather see the Kline/Rhondstat "Pirates of Penzance" which is reasonably faithful and just a complete hoot. Anyway, nice job.
Phil Alexander - April 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Thunderbolt - not the recent "Dead Iraqi General" one, but I have got one Major-General parody for the adventurous to try singing along to

Pooch - I agree that the original G&S numbers are usually very funny, but they're very good songs to parody, too: lots of words, nice rhythms and no real suprises - I've got four more G&S parodies on amiright.
Rick Duncan - October 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Way cool that you're a G & S fan. I parodied the whole HMS Pinafore and it's great practice trying to match that impeccable scan and rhyme. I'm still spreading my wings in this newfangled webbery and I'm amazed at how much unappreciated talent is out here. People always ask me why the heck I write them when no one is going to appreciate it. Guess we were just waiting for this site.
Guy DiRito - October 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Great job Phil. And that CD cup holder thing was an actual call to a tech support center. This woman called and said her cup holder had broken when she placed a full cup of coffee in in to hold her coffee and the techie was perplexed and asked if it was a promotional item. He asked her to read anything to him that was on the device and she said something like 8X. Hilarious. I read this quite a while ago and I guess it happened when internal CD readers were relatively new.

One just as funny was the person who called the computer center asking if they were having a fire. Admin told them they were not and why would they think so and was told that it was because smoke was coming from their monitor.

And this line is so true: And the error's nowhere near what they're reporting (they're reporting)
Phil Alexander - October 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Rick - I get a strong feeling of a kindred spirit, here: though I've not done a whole G&S operetta (yet - I've had it as a thought in the back of my mind since appearing in a Mikado parody at university), I do enjoy using their songs as source material, the rhythm and word structure lending itself very well to witty word construction. Like you, I play my own stuff (though as I'm not particularly good on guitar, I tend to choose the easier tunes :-) ), and I felt much the same on finding amiright: it's the only site quite like it that I've found, and there is a huge amount of talent here - I've grown to enjoy it an awful lot, and I hope you'll stick around, too.

Guy - the "CD Tray not working" support call is a tech support legend - that's why I included it; I hadn't heard the one about the smoking monitor, though... that'd definitely have got a mention if I had :-) The line about the error report came from an actual complaint I had shortly before writing this - I was asked why an error had taken so long to fix, to which I replied that the user had a) told me the wrong error message, b) told me the wrong PC (they'd said it was on the server, not on their machine), and c) told me the wrong application, so I was trying to sort a different error by looking in completely the wrong place... and this particular "user" was the systems administrator.
Meriadoc - April 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice one Phil!
Peregrin - April 03, 2004 - Report this comment
DNTOS Phil, but it makes a good read !
Adagio - April 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I like this one. Funny!
Rick D - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
You know I loved this and admire it. As far as me voting for you in round A, I can only quote Maxwell Smart. "Missed it by this much!" How did those MP3's come out?
wdh - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
DNTOS, but is funny enough
John Jenkins - April 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent parody about the ongoing battle between tech support and users. I particularly liked the "four letter word" line and the "cup tray/up they" rhyme.
Johnny D - April 05, 2004 - Report this comment
You are the very model of a modern Major Parodist.
Guy - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil - Good luck with this entry on the ABC competition.
neminem - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment
You evil person you... giving me such a hard time deciding which parody to vote for ;-). 5/5/5, obviously.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thunderbolt, I did a Major General parody recently. As for this ingenius masterpiece, I sprinkle out a dose of 5ers for Phil,(5ers for Phil) and curse anyone who dares give him a 1. (crappy 1)
2nz - April 07, 2004 - Report this comment
DKTOS but really was a good read. I'm always up for a parody that shows the suffering of the techies. Better than washing dishes, but just barely.
Paul Robinson - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil - not familiar with much Gilbert & Sullivan or the "Pirates" so this one is DKTOS for me. - April 08, 2004 - Report this comment
You know I'm a fan, Philbo, but I DKTOS. Still, I can relate with this - from the user's end. You'd think that by now they'd have figured out a way to make those retractable cup holders a bit stronger.
martha - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
this is excellent .. I love G and S parodies too... why not do an amiright G and S parody album ... no copyright problems there....???
Claude Prez - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't know this one but that didn't matter; it reads quite well as a poem. Very very good.
Rick D - April 09, 2004 - Report this comment
For those who would like a crash course in this type of music without having to sit through a college production, go rent "The Pirates of Penzance" with Kevin Kline and Angela Landsbury. It's not only good fun but has a lot of these songs that you've heard but didn't know where they were from.
Kim West - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Ahhh! I just finished my own parody from Penzance, then I finished reading someone else's parody from that musical, and now I find your parody. You’re the second person that has combined my love for Penzance with my hatred of computers (mine specifically). AHHHHH! You had me at the cup holder bit really being a CD Rom tray. 555 to you and all of your bits and bytes as well! Arrr! So sayith the Pirate Queen! And a pox on those who dared to give ye lowly 333's!
Phil Alexander - March 29, 2005 - Report this comment
:-) The cup tray's an old, old tech support tale... not sure whether it's a real one or not. But it's funny, nonetheless. Thanks, Kim.
martin - October 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Enjoyed it thoroughly!
Larry - September 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Brilliant! Loved it

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