Party conferences broadcast to the nation (to the nation)
Protecting them's the order of the day (of the day)
And it takes a rather major operation (operation)
To keep those nasty terrorists away (way away)
With many thousand people to be vetted (to be vetted)
It ain't exactly what you would call fun (not much fun)
So many things that must not be forgetted (not forgetted)
A policeman's job is not a happy one
Aaaaaah
Once the conferencing season has begun, has begun
A policeman's job is not a happy one
Happy one

For their modus operandi's getting betterer (so much betterer)
To search, they have a myriad different ways (many ways)
Such as P.N.C., or C.I.D., et cetera (D. et cetera)
And G.O.K. how many T.L.A.s (T.L.A.s)
For their techniques are oh, so sophisticated ('phisticated)
They really are as clever as you get (don't forget)
Just one small search I think they've miss-ticated (miss-ticated?)
'Cause they never do it googling the net..
Aaaaah
When there's twenty thousand searches to be done, to be done
A policeman's job is not a happy one
Happy one

But when "garbage in" is mangling your data (master baiter)
And your printed barcodes' showing the wrong year (dear, oh, dear)
Then you need it fixing sooner and not later (not much later)
So pick up the 'phone and Phil will soon be here (have a beer)
Though it briefly seemed the team was overloaded (over 'loaded')
And those early starts were finishing too late (much too late)
But it's over now, and no bombs have exploded (have exploded)
It's time to pop the cork and celebrate
Aaaaah
Now that Operation Otter's work is done, work is done
A policeman on the job's a happy one
Happy one