ACOLYTE:
I am an acolyte of the Invisible Pink Unicorn
Our holy books are written in invisible pink cuneiform
The object of our faith has paradoxical ability
To demonstrate both pinkness and a lack of visibility

We follow her and try and emulate her unicorn-y ways
And when we have our time off work, it's for religious horny-days
Our faith is ridiculed by unbelievers as plain risible
But there are some advantages to holy books, invisible

ALL:
There are some advantages to holy books, invisible
There are some advantages to holy books, invisible
There are some advantages to holy books, invisible

ACOLYTE:
Because no one can read the text, we make up our own holy laws
It means that nobody will ever, EVER, die in holy wars
On Horny Days we dance in our invisible pink uniform
We are the acolytes of the Invisible Pink Unicorn

ALL:
On Horny Days we dance in our invisible pink uniform
We are the acolytes of the Invisible Pink Unicorn

ACOLYTE:
The Fly'ng Spaghetti Monster is an upstart, and a scary 'un
There ain't no way I ever would become a Pastafarian
And all those guys who say they've felt his Noodly Appendages
Should suffer the same fate as Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnages
But FSM can't take on IPU, I'll tell you now for why:
It's way too hard to rhyme it, and to make it scan? Don't even try.

ALL:
It's way too hard to rhyme it, and to make it scan? Don't even try.
It's way too hard to rhyme it, and to make it scan? Don't even try.
It's way too hard to rhyme it, and to make it scan? Don't even try.

ACOLYTE:
I'll point out the sarcastic truth, in case you might have missed it all:
Invisible Pink Unicorn simply does not exist at all
She's somewhat metaphorical to show the world the way it is
But isn't really different to all the other deities
Just think of all the gods who have been worshipp-ed historic'y
But now we know are volcanoes or weather (metaphoric'ly)
Years ago a god of trees was not considered odd at all
But now there really isn't any reason for a god at all

ALL:
But now there really isn't any reason for a god at all
But now there really isn't any reason for a god at all
But now there really isn't any reason for a god at all

ACOLYTE:
I wonder if by now you see the world the way I say it is
A mind is way too powerful a tool to waste on deities
And there's all sorts of worthwhile things your brain is so much better for
Than blindly and unthinkingly a-worshipping a metaphor

ALL:
And there's all sorts of worthwhile things your brain is so much better for
Than blindly and unthinkingly a-worshipping a metaphor