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Song Parodies -> "The President's Song"

Original Song Title:

"The Major-General's Song"

Original Performer:

Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"The President's Song"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

What incensed me so much that I had to write this was GWB's comment about wanting to create a "Culture of Life" - this from the man who started a war which has claimed in excess of 20,000 civilian lives. Some "culture of life".
PRESIDENT:
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist
A blinkered, blind and narrow-minded dumb-ass revelationist
I find it hard distinguishing religious from political
And so I make decisions that are highly hypocritical

I try and change the law to save the life of someone comatose
While ordering a war and killing anyone who come too close
The latest body count was twenty-thousand-plus civilians
But I've got policies that could cause carnage by the millions

ALL:
But he's got policies that could cause carnage by the millions
But he's got policies that could cause carnage by the millions
But he's got policies that could cause carnage by the millions

PRESIDENT:
I know the world was made for us, and has been since it first begun
It says so there in Genesis, and God knows I'm a Christ-ee-yun
In short, in matters biblical, a congregagginationist
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist

ALL:
In short, in matters biblical, a congregagginationist
He is the very model of a bible-bound creationist

PRESIDENT:
My country's use of gasoline is profligate and decadent
It's harming our economy and the whole world's environment
Global warming morons warn of crises so hysteric and
It makes me thank the Lord that I was born to be American

Like anyone in power who wants to show their adherence
I pick and choose the bits I use from both Old and New Testaments
The Satanic secular types show how much they fear me
When I announce that evolution's no more than a theory

ALL:
When he announces evolution's no more than a theory
When he announces evolution's no more than a theory
When he announces evolution's no more than a theory

PRESIDENT:
Then I can draft a scary bill that's more than taking liberties
But arguing impugns your patriotic sensitivities
In short, in matters patriotic, criminal or terrorist
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist

ALL:
In short, in matters patriotic, criminal or terrorist
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist

PRESIDENT:
In fact, when I know what is meant by true religious parity
When I don't think the West is under threat from secularity
When my lack of brain-power's not undermined by literacy
And when my foreign policy's less gunboat, more diplomacy
When I have learnt the difference 'tween sandwiches and sand wedges
When I can use with confidence the whole damn English lang-u-wedge
In short, when I can state a statement oh, so very statedly
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly

ALL:
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly

PRESIDENT:
I know there ain't much knowledge that's contained within my cranium
I went to see the Wizard, but he can't give me a brainium
But still, in things political or educa-ca-cationist
I am the very model of a bible-bound creationist

ALL:
But still, in things political or educa-ca-cationist
He is the very model of a bible-bound creationist

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 82

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   9
 12
 11
 
 2   2
 0
 0
 
 3   5
 4
 7
 
 4   10
 8
 7
 
 5   56
 58
 57
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Geez Phil...I wish I could do what you do. 555
Rod Worden - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Phil, I'm still laughing, and I'm now going back in for seconds! Fantastic.
Sweet Indigo - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Magnifique, Maestro, magnifique! Perfect in every respect. If you stood for president, Dubya would be shaking in his boots!
John Barry - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant and encompassing, Phil!
Red Ant - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
555. The sad thing is it's true.
Rick D - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Cranium/Brainium Ha! You know our Fearless Leader better than most of us do!
Phil Alexander - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick - I think you've put your finger on the joys of doing Dubya-in-the-first-person parodies: if you can't think of a rhyme, just make up a word to fit :-) Thanks, all - it felt good to get that out of my system.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Your foreign policy is quite fivetastic...
Lou Philsister - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Fantastic! You make me proud... spot on!
Rick C - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Extremely well done! 555
Johnny D - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I am REALLY laughing out loud at this, for real, yeee-HAW!! "congregagginationist" ... "English lang-u-wedge" ... "I went to see the Wizard, but he can't give me a brainium" ... ohhh man, Philbo, this parody is like Monty Python's sketch about the joke that was so funny, it was deadly! ;-)
Phil Alexander - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
{blush}

Thanks.
Stuart McArthur - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
that is truly masterful, Phil - funny and solid and packs a rain-making punch - wordplay like lang-u-wedge and misunderestimatedly enrich it further - top class - 555
Michael Pacholek - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Twenty thousand civilians? You're off by about a hundred thousand. But, hey, he's just gettin' warmed up! He has not wavered. He has not faltered. He will prevail. Eventually. Or maybe he'll just dump it in Hillary's lap on 1/20/09.
Catch 23 - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
My favorite parody of the day. Unlike Dub-ya, no stutter here
Sweet Indigo - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm amazed One Guy hasn't got to this yet. Perhaps it was so brilliant that One Guy is now going to vote Democrat :)
Phil Alexander - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
I think the One Guy must have been checking the message list... famous last words, and all that ;-)
Sweet Indigo - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Ah, must keep my big mouth shut... or my big fingers still... or something!
Kat - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(laughs uncontrollably at idiocy of our president)
Michael Pacholek - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
Indigo: I don't want Ones Guy in my party. Let him go with Nader. After all, he'll get ONE percent of the vote. If that.
Red Ant - May 03, 2005 - Report this comment
( SOTM ) Already voted and commented.
Dumb Ass Kid - May 07, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Top notch 555
Agrimorfee - May 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Effortlessly captured GWB's penchant for making up words out of stutters while speaking on the cuff. (congregagginationist, WOW!)
Scathe - May 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The only thing harder than writing a parody like this is singing it.
Rick C - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) already voted, commented
Jeff Reuben - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but it still made me laugh!
Dee Range - May 11, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but funny read
Arwen - May 13, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--holy cow...I'm impressed!!
Guy - May 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I can state exactly in one word what makes this parody so good. "wordplay". Well done Phil. Good satire.
Melhi - May 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is the very model of the kind of writing that makes me such a Phil fan. :)
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - May 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I enjoyed this already the first time, now I found even more in it the second. 555.
John Jenkins - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Very good job of imitating the G&S word play. But, of course, I disagree with your initial comment. President Bush did not start the war. Saddam Hussein did, by not complying with numerous United Nations resolutions. Bush and Blair and the nations of the coalition merely carried out U.N. Security Council Resolution 1441.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
Sweeping aside politics et al, a marvellous parody ripe with lyrical humour. 555
Phil Alexander - May 18, 2005 - Report this comment
I'd have to argue that, JJ: war was unnecessary, and even given the number of his own citizens that Saddam was capable of killing off, you have to admit that the war has killed many times as many - in plain numbers, the war in Iraq has killed more people than global terrorism has, period.
(Dismounts from hobby horse, takes a deep breath)
Thanks everyone for all your kind words :-)
Charlie Decker - May 20, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well, if you've read any of my many politcal parodies, you know I loved this one. Important but still hilarious. 555!
Rex - May 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well done there, Phil.
Johnny D - May 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Spaff.com - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Bravo! I actually went and found an MP3 of a performance of the original, but stopped it 30 seconds in - I no longer wanted THAT distracting me from THIS. I echo everyone's favorite lines and am also quite enamored with this couplet:
In short, when I can state a statement oh, so very statedly
You'll say no president's ever misunderestimatedly.

Fantastimasterpational!
Stuart McArthur - May 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - already commented - very erudite stuff Phil, with your perfectionist pacing setting it off - just like to higlight my favourite couplet:

When I have learnt the difference 'tween sandwiches and sand wedges
When I can use with confidence the whole damn English lang-u-wedge
Claude Prez - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
The Wizard line was my fave but like everyone else I'm blown away by the whole thing. Outstanding.
Kristof Robertson - May 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm still jealous......
2nz - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
This is outstanding, Phil. Personally, it is not my cup of tea, but I cannot help being awed by your exceptional use of topics topical, the English lang-u-wedge and the parody medium. You are a master of the craft, Phil.
MysteryGoat - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) I'm not much on political songs but this was quite good!
MysteryGoat - June 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm not much on political songs but this was quite good!
Tim Mayfield - June 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Late comment due to Firefox and lack of sleep (I guess).. at least I voted in time... Very well done. Some fabulous lines throughout.
lvsUK men - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Very smart & intelligent,except where reality is concerned.If you don't understand God & hate the president,then move!
Phil Alexander - August 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Move where, pray? I live in the UK...
martin - October 30, 2005 - Report this comment
This was going wonderfully until it got lazy with the triple rhymes :( Gilbert may have stretched, strained and just plain invented the occasional word, but he always got a perfect triple-rhyme at the end of each line, and it's always distracting to the point that I can't enjoy the song any longer when a parody doesn't follow suit.
Harry Peers - April 17, 2006 - Report this comment
William Schenk would have loved it!
Joe - August 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Where can I find an MP3 of this. It's wonderful!
Joe - May 05, 2008 - Report this comment
F**k u
Phil Alexander - May 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Say, Joe, are you the same Joe who asked nearly two years ago if there was a recording? If so, sorry, I missed that comment, but as it stands there is no recording of this song. If not, and your comment is intended as a critique of the parody, then I'm afraid it didn't actually work very well.

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