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Song Parodies -> "Stubborn Dwarven Warrior"
Original Song Title:
"Modern Major General"
Original Performer:
Gilbert and Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"Stubborn Dwarven Warrior"
Parody Written by:
White Weasel 89
The Lyrics
Wow, this song is hard to write. I give kudos to anyone that can make a decent parody of it. I really liked the Teen agnst one. Anyway, this is my third Gilbert and Sullivan parody, and probably my second favorite parody (next to Tower Minas Morgul). I hope you all enjoy it, and it is meant to be sung by Gimli. I should do some more on the other fellowship characters, but I only really care about Gimli. He rocks.
I am the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
My great homelands are Moria, the Iron hills, and Erebor
I know the line of Durin and I quote the names historical
From Oakenshield to Ironfoot in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters concerning battle
I understand my axe work and how it helps Orc skulls to rattle
About Azanulbizar I am teeming with a lot of hate
With many evil tales about how we would not cross the east gate
With many evil tales about how we would not cross the east gate
With many evil tales about how we would not cross the east gate
With many evil tales about how we would not cross the east gate
I'm very good at knocking heads and yelling out a big war cry
The Orcs that see me know to run because they know that they will die
I'm short, I'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
I am the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
He's short, he'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
He is the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
I know our ancient history, how Durin found Kheled-zaram
I'll answer your three questions, stout, brave and hardy O' yes I am
I quote in such anger all the crimes of the wicked Orc Azog
And I'll never forget the stories of the terrible Balrog
I can hew off heads and make Orcs flee from Hobbiton to Far Harad
Those Easterlings they fear me even though they say they are all bad
And I can drink some ale after I'm done with this quest that I've sworn
And go with Legolas to that infernal forest called Fangorn
And go with Legolas to that infernal forest called Fangorn
And go with Legolas to that infernal forest called Fangorn
And go with Legolas to that infernal forest called Fangorn
Then I can fight some Uruk-hai with my axe and my steel corset
And I'll tell you every detail of Legolas' little bet
I'm short, I'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
I am the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
He's short, he'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
He is the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
In fact, I even know what is meant by "ai-menu" and "Khazad" too
And I can even meet the elves and start with them friendship anew
At such affairs like battle with the Uruks I'm not wary at
I'll face the dead and so much more even though I am scared of that
I've learnt all there is to know 'bout the Dwarven way of mining ore
And I can recite tales of Dwarven kings that were thought lost in lore
I'm short, and if I make a home and find another Arkenstone
You'll say a better Dwarven warrior has never come from stone
You'll say a better Dwarven warrior has never come from stone
You'll say a better Dwarven warrior has never come from stone
You'll say a better Dwarven warrior has never come from stone
For my own tactical finesse, I am clumsy and perhaps too bold
That will be the only Dwarf way until all Middle-Earth grows old
I'm short, I honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
I am the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
He's short, he'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
He is the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
My great homelands are Moria, the Iron hills, and Erebor
I know the line of Durin and I quote the names historical
From Oakenshield to Ironfoot in order categorical
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters concerning battle
I understand my axe work and how it helps Orc skulls to rattle
About Azanulbizar I am teeming with a lot of hate
With many evil tales about how we would not cross the east gate
With many evil tales about how we would not cross the east gate
With many evil tales about how we would not cross the east gate
With many evil tales about how we would not cross the east gate
I'm very good at knocking heads and yelling out a big war cry
The Orcs that see me know to run because they know that they will die
I'm short, I'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
I am the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
He's short, he'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
He is the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
I know our ancient history, how Durin found Kheled-zaram
I'll answer your three questions, stout, brave and hardy O' yes I am
I quote in such anger all the crimes of the wicked Orc Azog
And I'll never forget the stories of the terrible Balrog
I can hew off heads and make Orcs flee from Hobbiton to Far Harad
Those Easterlings they fear me even though they say they are all bad
And I can drink some ale after I'm done with this quest that I've sworn
And go with Legolas to that infernal forest called Fangorn
And go with Legolas to that infernal forest called Fangorn
And go with Legolas to that infernal forest called Fangorn
And go with Legolas to that infernal forest called Fangorn
Then I can fight some Uruk-hai with my axe and my steel corset
And I'll tell you every detail of Legolas' little bet
I'm short, I'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
I am the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
He's short, he'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
He is the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
In fact, I even know what is meant by "ai-menu" and "Khazad" too
And I can even meet the elves and start with them friendship anew
At such affairs like battle with the Uruks I'm not wary at
I'll face the dead and so much more even though I am scared of that
I've learnt all there is to know 'bout the Dwarven way of mining ore
And I can recite tales of Dwarven kings that were thought lost in lore
I'm short, and if I make a home and find another Arkenstone
You'll say a better Dwarven warrior has never come from stone
You'll say a better Dwarven warrior has never come from stone
You'll say a better Dwarven warrior has never come from stone
You'll say a better Dwarven warrior has never come from stone
For my own tactical finesse, I am clumsy and perhaps too bold
That will be the only Dwarf way until all Middle-Earth grows old
I'm short, I honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
I am the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
He's short, he'll honor Moria, the Iron Hills, and Erebor
He is the very model of a stubborn Dwarven warrior
Comments are appreciated. Thanks.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 4 | 2 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
User Comments
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It is, as you say, a tricky one to do, and you've done it excellently. I can actually picture Gimli performing this, with Aragorn and Legolas doing the chorus / repeat lines :-) 5's
Too bad this one's so short, it really should be longer. Course then, I'd have to vote 7's. Great job!
I had a little trouble with the pacing, but other than that it's perfect - a pleasant change from the usual LOTR fare too, nice for Gimli to get the limelight for a change :D
I loved the "I'm short" change from "In short", and some great lines, too. This is a tricky one to get working properly (I should know, I've done it twice ;-) ), and this is a damn good crack.. but I'm afraid I did have to dock a pacing mark as there were a few lines I couldn't get to scan properly.
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