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Song Parodies -> "A Hobbit's Tale, Ep. Iii: Dude, Wheres My Sequel?"

Original Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-general"

Original Performer:

Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"A Hobbit's Tale, Ep. Iii: Dude, Wheres My Sequel?"

Parody Written by:

Adam Eccleshall

The Lyrics

Well.. I did promise / threaten that this was coming...Note that "fire" and "shire" each definately need to be sung as two distinct syllables, rather than the slurred single syllable I kept insisting on trying :-)
[Gandalf]
We now must head for Isengard, the little guys are waiting there
They fought with Entish soldiers, which Saruman thought was quite unfair
They liberated goodies that were pilfered by the evil orcs
And Gimil, they have got a chest of rather tasty salted pork

[Pippin]
I looked into the Pelantir and Gandalf got a little cross
He said that I was foolish and that for words, he was at a loss
So we set off and I said I would serve the Steward of Gondor
Although I wished I hadn't when they had a scrap at Pelennor

[Men]
Although he wished he hadn't when they had a scrap at Pelennor
Although he wished he hadn't when they had a scrap at Pelennor
Although he wished he hadn't when they had a scrap, a scrap at Pelennor

[Gimli,Legolas,Merry,Pippin & Gandalf]
We wound up outside Mordor with an army that was miniscule
But still we carried on so Aragorn would not look such a fool
The tower keeled over and the minions started dying so
We turned around and legged it so we could enjoy the pyro show

The tower keeled over and the minions started dying so
We turned around and legged it so we could enjoy the pyro show

---------

[Sam]
Now Frodo's gone and got himself all tangled in a spider's web
And Gollum's buggered off again, lest I should try to crack his head
I think it's down to me to get the Ring into the Cracks of Doom
Though hearing what those orcs just said makes me think that I spoke too soon

I'm gonna wake him up and then we'll carry on with Frodo's quest
At least if we don't make it, folks'll say we tried our very best
I'll see that Ring on fire if it's the last thing I ever do
That Gollum thing's come back, now maybe I should just throw him in, too

That Gollum thing's come back, now maybe I should just throw him in, too
That Gollum thing's come back, now maybe I should just throw him in, too
That Gollum thing's come back, now maybe I should just throw, just throw him in, too

[Frodo]
I'm gonna keep the Ring, it's rather pretty and quite powerful
It doesn't seem so heavy now I've let it have some more control
And if you don't agree, well..... OW! That bugger bit my finger off
He's gonna have to pay for that, I'll drop him in the molten rock

And if you don't agree, well..... OW! That bugger bit my finger off
He's gonna have to pay for that, I'll drop him in the molten rock

----------

[Peter Jackson]
You think the movie's over, well my friend have I got news for you
Just park your arse, we've got another dozen story arcs to do
A coronation, celebration and, of course some hesitation
Should he leave the Shire with the elves and head for Grey Havens?

And Samwise needs to marry his beloved Rosie Cotton, so
We're gonna spin it out another half an hour, don't you know?
And don't forget the DVD with lots of lov'ly extra scenes
We'll make it twice as long, the greatest film that you have ever seen

We'll make it twice as long, the greatest film that you have ever seen
We'll make it twice as long, the greatest film that you have ever seen
We'll make it twice as long, the greatest film that you have ever, ever seen

The credits started rolling, you can now stand up and stretch your legs
The movie's really over, fin, finito, what can I do next?
I'm sure I'll think of something as the credits keep on rolling on
My masterpiece of cinema about a guy from Hobbiton

I'm sure I'll think of something as the credits keep on rolling on
My masterpiece of cinema about a guy from Hobbiton
Coming soon...... A Hobbit's Tale, Part IV.

Just kidding, because, as Sean Astin himself insists, "Trilogy is three"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   9
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 10
 

User Comments

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Phil Alexander - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
:-)
And as the money's rolling in, counted by the million
I'm pondering the filming of the whole damn Silmarillion...
Johnny D - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
;-D
But Philbo, why should Jackson stop at just the Silmarillion?
Why not sixteen more X-File flicks with sexy pouting Gillian?
Then Stephen Donaldson's books 'bout the White-Gold-Wielding Leper-Lord
And then Bob Jordan's Wheel Of Time with Dragon Reborn Rand Al'thor!
Arwen - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
So Adam, have you met my sleeve? Yeah, that's my heart on it. I love Love LOVE you! 5s...=)
Know 1 can hear you dream - September 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, since this was the third part and you insist on stopping there I'll give you a 333 (just kidding).
Adam Eccleshall - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, guys.
Phil & Johnny: I know Jackson's after doing The Hobbit (so long as legal wranglings get sorted). Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if he did go on to the Silmarillion. After all, prequels haven't exactly done too badly for certain other trilogies. Great additional lyrics :-)
Arwen: My plan to entice the sexiest elf chick ever through song is working, then?
K1: Thanks. Whilst there's plenty of source material to spin this on for another dozen chapters or so, I think another round of this melody would be in viloation of several human rights acts. Much as I like the tune, having listened to it so often for writing these three, it now permeates all my thought processes, and I even type in rythm to it sometimes :-)
Arwen - September 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Ah ha! So you admit it!

Yes, by the way...yes...
pickle - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Will you be doing 'Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me & My Monkey' when Peter Jackson's remake of 'King Kong' happens?
Glen S - February 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Another great effort of LOTR love. My favorite part of this was Peter's section. Great comments on the long and drawn out ending. And great series.

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