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Song Parodies -> "What a Wizard is in General"
Original Song Title:
"Modern Major General"
Original Performer:
Gilbert and Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"What a Wizard is in General"
Parody Written by:
Warren Usui
The Lyrics
*** Gandalf ***
I am the very model of a wizard, 'cuz in general,
I've information mystical, ephemeral and magical.
I'm known from the northern Shire -- both pastoral and agrarian,
All the way to Mordor with inhabitants barbarian,
I am praised in festivals, both singular and annual,
I can use a palantir, without the owner's manual.
I am contesting Sauron -- I believe that is the reason why,
I am feared by goblins, trolls, Gollum, orcs, and Uruk-hai.
*** Chorus ***
He is feared by goblins, trolls, Gollum, orcs, and Uruk-hai.
He is feared by goblins, trolls, Gollum, orcs, and Uruk-hai.
He is feared by goblins, trolls, Gollum, orcs, and Uruk-hai.
*** Gandalf ***
My staff can cast a shield that is mightier than mith-er-ril,
My voice can be more soothing than any lute or zither will,
In short, in matters mystical, ephemeral and magical,
I am the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Chorus ***
In short, in matters mystical, ephemeral and magical,
He is the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Gandalf ***
My accomplishments are many, I fear that I may soon bore ya'
I led a fellowship, down through the mines of Moria.
All the way through Kazad Dum, where soon you mere mortals found
Even something nasty as a balrog couldn't keep me down.
No matter if I'm grey or white, each way I do just as well,
My "Wizardry for Dummies" is a textbook back in Rivendell.
My capacity for magic I believe that I can never fill
I am the greatest wizard since the last Quest of the Silmaril.
*** Chorus ***
He is the greatest wizard since the last Quest of the Silmaril.
He is the greatest wizard since the last Quest of the Silmaril.
He is the greatest wizard since the last Quest of the Silmaril.
*** Gandalf ***
I speak fluent Elvish, learning tongues, it isn't hard,
My knowledge is more solid, than the rocks at Isengard.
In short, in matters mystical, ephemeral and magical,
I am the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Chorus ***
In short, in matters mystical, ephemeral and magical,
He is the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Gandalf ***
I've seen death and destruction, all through-out the Third Age War,
I have been with dwarves who were roasted back in Erebor.
I 've been to Nargothrond, no need to say much fur-er-ther,
And heard last words from Thain, who bought the farm in Dol Gurdur
Many of my colleagues have been taken by a barrow-wight,
And I hung around with Boromir, 'til he was in an arrow sight.
I always seem to be around, death and pain and agony,
So you want to reach old age, you better not hang 'round with me.
*** Chorus ***
So if you want to reach old age, you better not hang 'round with him.
So if you want to reach old age, you better not hang 'round with him.
So if you want to reach old age, you better not hang 'round with him.
*** Gandalf ***
If you check out the records, I am very sure that you will find,
For members of my parties, the survival rate is border-line.
But still in matters mystical, ephemeral, and magical,
I am the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Chorus ***
But still in matters mystical, ephemeral, and magical,
He is the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
I am the very model of a wizard, 'cuz in general,
I've information mystical, ephemeral and magical.
I'm known from the northern Shire -- both pastoral and agrarian,
All the way to Mordor with inhabitants barbarian,
I am praised in festivals, both singular and annual,
I can use a palantir, without the owner's manual.
I am contesting Sauron -- I believe that is the reason why,
I am feared by goblins, trolls, Gollum, orcs, and Uruk-hai.
*** Chorus ***
He is feared by goblins, trolls, Gollum, orcs, and Uruk-hai.
He is feared by goblins, trolls, Gollum, orcs, and Uruk-hai.
He is feared by goblins, trolls, Gollum, orcs, and Uruk-hai.
*** Gandalf ***
My staff can cast a shield that is mightier than mith-er-ril,
My voice can be more soothing than any lute or zither will,
In short, in matters mystical, ephemeral and magical,
I am the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Chorus ***
In short, in matters mystical, ephemeral and magical,
He is the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Gandalf ***
My accomplishments are many, I fear that I may soon bore ya'
I led a fellowship, down through the mines of Moria.
All the way through Kazad Dum, where soon you mere mortals found
Even something nasty as a balrog couldn't keep me down.
No matter if I'm grey or white, each way I do just as well,
My "Wizardry for Dummies" is a textbook back in Rivendell.
My capacity for magic I believe that I can never fill
I am the greatest wizard since the last Quest of the Silmaril.
*** Chorus ***
He is the greatest wizard since the last Quest of the Silmaril.
He is the greatest wizard since the last Quest of the Silmaril.
He is the greatest wizard since the last Quest of the Silmaril.
*** Gandalf ***
I speak fluent Elvish, learning tongues, it isn't hard,
My knowledge is more solid, than the rocks at Isengard.
In short, in matters mystical, ephemeral and magical,
I am the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Chorus ***
In short, in matters mystical, ephemeral and magical,
He is the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Gandalf ***
I've seen death and destruction, all through-out the Third Age War,
I have been with dwarves who were roasted back in Erebor.
I 've been to Nargothrond, no need to say much fur-er-ther,
And heard last words from Thain, who bought the farm in Dol Gurdur
Many of my colleagues have been taken by a barrow-wight,
And I hung around with Boromir, 'til he was in an arrow sight.
I always seem to be around, death and pain and agony,
So you want to reach old age, you better not hang 'round with me.
*** Chorus ***
So if you want to reach old age, you better not hang 'round with him.
So if you want to reach old age, you better not hang 'round with him.
So if you want to reach old age, you better not hang 'round with him.
*** Gandalf ***
If you check out the records, I am very sure that you will find,
For members of my parties, the survival rate is border-line.
But still in matters mystical, ephemeral, and magical,
I am the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
*** Chorus ***
But still in matters mystical, ephemeral, and magical,
He is the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
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Voting Breakdown
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| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 4 | 4 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 14 | 17 | 16 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Abso*****inglutely wonderful. This one's straight onto my "favourite parody" list.
Phil
Phil
This is brilliant - I love it!!
That is possibly the cleverest thing on this site!
I was just re-reading this, and thought, would it not run a bit more smoothly this way round:
But still in matters mystical, and magical, ephemeral
I am the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
...but I still think it's a brilliant parody :-)
But still in matters mystical, and magical, ephemeral
I am the very model -- what a wizard is in general.
...but I still think it's a brilliant parody :-)
Freaking brilliant!
Do you thing that we could to a LOTR Muscial? The Misc-M category has at least 2 Lord of the Rings Related songs.
I LOVE how everyone's making these fabbbity (excuse the word--it's a tribute to a friend...) Parodies of musicals, and not just modern pop songs--I know we're all sick of hearing Avril lavigne 'constipated' parodies...*sigh* but thanks--it was refreshing and really clever! that's a tough song to do!
Truly brilliant. Shows a great knowledge of both G&S and Tolkein, a keen wit, and an abilty to come up with just the right phrase. Rooting for you in the TOC.
The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.
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