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Song Parodies -> "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Liberal Democrat"

Original Song Title:

"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert And Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Liberal Democrat"

Parody Written by:

Onslaught

The Lyrics

Liberal democrats described herein are representative of the type I see on political blogs. Any comparison made between these and normal democrats is purely unintentional.
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN LIBERAL DEMOCRAT

LIBERAL
I am the very model of a modern liberal democrat
A hurtful, hate-filled, vile, vicious, low down, no good, dirty rat
I’m venal and pernicious and obnoxious and deplorable
And yet despite it all my mother still finds me adorable.
I spend my time producing copious amounts of excrement
Then fling it, like a monkey, ’round all over Al Gores internet
I loudly shout to one and all my intellect superior
Then demonstrate with equal verve my acumen inferior.

ALL
Then demonstrate with equal verve my acumen inferior.
Then demonstrate with equal verve my acumen inferior.
Then demonstrate with equal verve my acumen inferi-eiror.

LIBERAL
My grasp of fact is not the best; in truth it is quite tenuous
My view of history, ‘bout the same, is fractured, filtered, nebulous.
A hurtful hate-filled vile vicious low down no good dirty rat
I am the very model of a modern liberal democrat.

ALL
A hurtful hate-filled vile vicious low down no good dirty rat
He is the very model of a modern liberal democrat.

LIBERAL
I’ve studied Saul Alinsky and I’m practiced as a radical.
I cling to every tenant of the socialist, fanatical.
I make my rounds of all the liberal hotspots on the internet.
Then parrot what I read just like some kind of mind numb malcontent.
The topics that I comment on are peppered well with BDS.
I get the talking points I mouth from CNN and PBS.
The New York Times is like a bible that I pray to everyday.
I never question anything, no matter how dumb, that they say.

ALL
I never question anything, no matter how dumb, that they say
I never question anything, no matter how dumb, that they say
I never question anything, no matter how dumb, that they say, they say.

LIBERAL
I bloviate and obfuscate and knowingly prevaricate
I castigate, vituperate, at slinging mud, I’m really great.
A hurtful hate-filled vile vicious low down no good dirty rat
I am the very model of a modern liberal democrat.

ALL
A hurtful hate-filled vile vicious low down no good dirty rat
He is the very model of a modern liberal democrat.

LIBERAL
In fact when I can denigrate an African American (R)
With slurs the like of which were never dreamt of by the Ku Klux Klan.
When I can fight for death row cads just like they were my son or brother
Or the right of murder that belongs to an expectant mother.
When I can call my enemy, but not my homo friend, a fag
And tolerate behavior that would likely make a maggot gag.
Then all my wastrel pals would turn their beaming faces up at me
And say a better liberal democrat they never hope to see.

For my militant proclivities, both overt and clandestine-y,
Have only been brought down since the middle of our last century.
But still, a hate-filled vile vicious low-down no good dirty rat,
I am the very model of a modern liberal democrat.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.6

Total Votes: 21

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   5
 7
 7
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 1
 
 4   2
 1
 0
 
 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - September 15, 2011 - Report this comment
You breathing okay? Clean air? Did you eat breakfast today? Not poisoned? Did you drive to work today? On a public road? In a car with seat belts? And do you have the right to not work more than 8 hours in a day or 40 hours in a week if you so choose? Do you enjoy all these freedoms, instead of singing "God Save the Queen" or "Deutschland Uber Alles"? Liberal Democrats say, "You're welcome."
Middle o' Road - September 15, 2011 - Report this comment
II don't share all of your sentiments, but this is a very well written parody.
Patrick - September 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Yes, corporations would make a fortune deliberately selling poisoned food. And we'd continue to buy it anyway. Who flies fuel burning jets thousands of miles to make a five minute speech about "the environment"? The auto makers wouldn't build roads if they didn't already exist. And people would sit around ignorant unless the government forced them to go to school. Clever use of "denigrate" a black man. Libs are always apologizing for the worst murderers because they did what the lefties are too cowardly to do themselves. That's why they hate guns, because they don't trust themselves to handle them safely. They know what malice is in their own hearts. They see others as victims and perennial dependents. Conservatives honor success and want to see everyone prosperous by their own efforts. And yes, I demand the freedom to sing "God Save the Queen" and "Deutschland über Alles", but I'm going to have to brush up on the words.
Patrick - September 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Of course, if I can't remember the words, I can always write my own. In fact, with "God Save the Queen", I already have.
Onslaught - September 15, 2011 - Report this comment
As I said it's not meant to describe the vast majority of normal democrats, but only those with troll-like tenancies that I have encountered on various political blogs.
Old Man Ribber - September 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Slaught - I already gave you fives. The one-bombers ripped me for material less provocative than yours today. I'm a George H. W. Bush Republican (moderate, pragmatic, intellectual). Even if I disagree - and Michael and I often do - I never one bomb a skillful parody, which yours is indeed. Don't be put off...keep writing! BTW, Is Middle O'Road Irish? ;D
Below Average Dave - September 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Onslaught, these troll like democrats you are referring to don't exist. . .not true democrat would fit your description with respects to black slurs, and the use of the word fag was random and totally unnecessary. I am not a democrat or a republican--both parties utterly disgust me, Some say that makes me a libertarian, but I'm not really aligned with them either, though certainly closer than I am to either major party. This parody, no offense, seemed more like a rant than a fact based parody, I'm sorry. . .the original song is also not a favorite of mine, and may have limited your ability to expand on how this relates to an actual, or several actual bloggers. . .because I fail to see it, though admittingly only I've only been on a few political blogs, I've never seen someone who identifies themselves as a liberal or democrat (or for that matter conservative or republican) use words worse than that of the "Ku Klux Klan", the word 'fag' is rarely used by any serious political blogger, even those that adamantly hate homosexuals, and 'violent vicious no good. . . ." that gets repeated many times. . .well that I can see applied to many political bloggers on both sides, as well as those in the middle, some people really speak out their butt on political issue or speak from a very biased "NBC" or "Fox" altered opinion. . .both channels I deplore for their insane bias in reporting 'news'. . .While I can't speak on PBS, I don't see CNN as being anywhere near as biased as most news sources, though I trust little if any TV news anyway because of sensationalization and yellow journalism (yes I said yellow journalism, most TV news has turned yellow in my opinion) . . .I don't know 'onslaught', to me it just wasn't funny or accurate, and while certainly it is possible that out of billions of liberal people, some blogger some where claims to be a democrat and uses language that anyone on either side would deplore, I find it unlikely that a majority of these bloggers do based on experience and logic. . .Pacing was okay. . .but I can't rate this parody because I can't judge the topic fairly given the overall disagreement with its message.
Below Average Dave - September 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Two corrections on the above statement (sorry I was tired when I replied) . . .where I said "Not true democrat. . ." early on, I obviously meant "no true democrat. . ."

The second one is "though admittingly only I've only been on a few political blogs", the first only should be omitted to read "though addmitingly, I've only been on a few political blogs"

Sorry, again hope my opinion is taken as just that-an opinion. . .I mean no malice or hate
Old Man Ribber - September 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Malice and Hate are never a part of BADave. Nobody expresses conservative cheekiness more than I do, and Dave never one-bombs. ;D

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